I knew they cared about me, too, but I was in the way. It was because of me that the rift started, and I wasn’t about to be a rift between them again. I loved them too much.
When I returned to work on Monday, I’d hand in my resignation. God, I adored that job, too, but it would be too awkward to continue working there. It was time I grew up and stopped living this fantasy. And it was a fantasy—a wonderful one.
When the sobbing wouldn’t stop, and I couldn’t breathe, I had to pull over. When I calmed down a little bit, I took theopportunity to call Ryder. I needed a place to get away and crash where no one would find me.
“Hey, At,” he said when he answered.
“Hey, Rye. Uhm, I hate to intrude, but… could I crash with you all for a couple of days?”
“Oh, shit, what happened? I can tell something’s really wrong. You sound like you’ve been crying.”
“Yeah, uhm, it’s a long story,” I sniffed. “I can tell you about it when we meet up, if that’s okay. I just don’t want anyone to know where I am for now.”
“Yeah, come on over. I’ll let Knox and Finn know. There’s a spare bedroom you can use.”
“God, thanks, Rye. I owe you.”
I thought about just going home to my parents’ house, but then I’d have to explain everything to them. Mom would demand that I tell her why I was so upset.
After saying our goodbyes and hanging up, I turned off my phone because Hugh and Linden kept calling and texting. I just couldn’t… I needed to breathe and gather my thoughts before I talked to them. They seriously needed to talk more and spend some time alone together, without worrying about me. I’d made my choice. It hurt, but I was also fucking happy for them.
I rushed home, packed a bag with enough crap to last me a few days, and rushed out of there. Thank fuck my roommates were out for the night.
When I got back into my car, I plugged Ryder’s address into the GPS, then drove off.
People were going to tell me I was being an idiot. Maybe I was because I loved them, and I knew they cared about me, but no one saw Linden and Hugh together. The love that poured out of them… That was years and years of pent-up love.
My vision was blurry from the damn tears that refused to stop, so I took my time getting to Ryder’s place.
When I arrived, I took a deep breath, gathered myself, and got out of the car. I grabbed my bag and rushed up the stone steps to the front door.
Knox’s home was fucking huge and modern, made of smooth stone, glass, and clean lines. It was more contemporary than the other houses in this area of DC, but it was beautiful. Even though it was mostly windows, the lush trees and landscaping kept it private.
It didn’t take Ryder long to answer the door after I rang the doorbell. When he opened it, I dropped my bag and rushed to him as another sob escaped me. He held me tightly against him and allowed me to cry it all out before he said anything.
Someone else’s hand rubbed my back as I cried into Ryder.
“What happened?” Finn asked.
I stood straight, sniffed, and wiped my eyes before Knox handed me a box of tissues.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
After I toed off my shoes, Ryder took my hand and led me into their living room. The space was as modern as the house, with soft lines and a lot of white, but the huge Christmas tree tucked against the picturesque window was vibrant in color and light.
“Oh, pretty…” I said.
We sat on the comfortable couch with Ryder and Finn flanking either side of me in a protective barrier, while Knox sat in a chair across from us with worry on his face. I barely knew Finn and Knox, and already they were amazing.
“Thanks for this,” I said.
Ryder rested his arm behind me over the back of the couch. “Just tell us what happened, At.”
“I’m just upset with myself. It’s nothing Hugh or Linden did or anything.”
“Then why are you upset with yourself?”
“Because I’ll miss them. I… left them. Apparently, they’ve loved each other for a long time and didn’t know it. Linden left Hugh and me behind because he wanted Hugh and couldn’t take it anymore. I chased after him and convinced him to come back, but he said things that made it clear to me that their rift was my fault. We’d grown closer, but this was all new to us. The closer they got, the more strained it grew for Linden. I convinced him to talk to Hugh, and they finally admitted their feelings to each other. God, they looked so in love, so happy. I didn’t even get a backward glance. Whatever, it wasn’t like I wasn’t leaving anyway. So, I have to quit now, and…”
