Linden scrambled to grab the bag from my hands as I thrust it at him. “Uhm, okay, but I’m kind of busy right now with the table I’m working on.”
I ignored him and walked inside his pretty home and straight to the kitchen, where I opened all his cabinets until I found plates.
“Atlas…”
I slammed a cabinet door a little too hard after pulling down two glasses. The strain was taking its toll on me. I didn’t like it one bit. I wanted all three of us to be together, to love each other, and to do what we could to make it work.
“Atlas…”
His voice was too damn calm. Didn’t he care about us? Why did I have to chase him to make him talk, not that he was talking?
I pulled open a drawer hard, rattling the silverware. I grabbed two forks and several large spoons to serve with.
“Please be a dear and open the containers and put them on the counter. Then wash your face and hands,” I said in a tight voice.
Linden sighed and did as he was told.
I glanced at the counter. Satisfied that it was all set up, and he was clean enough to eat, I said, “Sit down, and I’ll serve you. And you’d better eat it all. I worked hard on this meal.” Jesus, I was becoming my mother.
Linden sat, saying nothing, watching me as I grabbed a plate and piled it with rice pilaf, souvlaki, lentil salad, cabbage rolls, tzatziki sauce, and pita bread. I placed a plate on the table in front of him, then made one for myself.
“Looks amazing, At. You said you made all this yourself?”
“Don’t ‘At’ me. Eat. When I sit, we can talk.”
He kept his yap shut, which only confirmed I was right about our situation, and he knew I knew.
“I have loukoumades soaked in honey and cinnamon for dessert.”
Once my plate was loaded, I sat down at the round table across from Linden. He hadn’t taken a bite yet, so I shooed him with my hands to start. I took a large bite of salad, watching him try my cooking, starting with the cabbage roll.
“This is delicious, but you didn’t have to cook for me to talk.”
“You shut up and listen.”
He raised a brow with his fork hovering over his mouth. Yeah, I never talked to either man that way, but things were going to change pronto.
“Why have you been ignoring Hugh? Don’t start with the ‘it’s me, not you’ nonsense. We’ve always been open and honest with each other, and now we’re not. What’s changed? And what else are you all not communicating about?”
Linden set his fork back onto the plate and rubbed his face. “I know. I’ve been trying to come up with ways to fix things or to make them better, but I can’t come up with anything that will make us all happy, Atlas. Words are at a loss to me, so I haven’t said anything. I’m not trying to keep details from you; I’ve just been trying to find answers and words.”
As I suspected, yet my eyes still watered, and a tear spilled. I swiped it away angrily. Having a good idea of what was going on was one thing. Hearing your truth confirmed was another. It hurt. A lot. “I don’t want us to end,” I said, hating how my voice trembled.
Linden reached over and pawed at me, but I slapped him away. He was insistent and grabbed me, pulling me onto his lap. “I don’t either, baby.”
“Stop calling me that. I don’t want to hear sweet words if you’re just going to leave us. Then I’d have to leave Hugh, too, because I’m not doing this without both of you.”
I tossed the word ‘love’ around in my head, debating whether telling him that would be good timing or horrible timing. No, telling him would be terrible timing because if he still said he wanted this relationship over, it would fucking gut me. And telling him seemed manipulative, even if it wasn’t.
Linden pulled me against his chest, and I rested my head on his shoulder as I let the tears flow freely.
“I can’t do this anymore, baby. I didn’t expect my feelings for my cousin to grow so much. Double penetrating you has been absolute torture for me. I loved doing it, but it kept reminding me I’d never have Hugh. He doesn’t want me like that, and I fucking get it. On the whole, I was fine for years. It wasn’t until you. Not even having a relationship with you will bring us any closer. It’s wrong too. So wrong. We’re blood-related. Maybe if we were second or third cousins, it would’ve been different, but we’re first cousins. His dad is my uncle. His mom is my aunt. I’ve been more of a brother to him than I’ve been a cousin after my parents died. I completely understand Hugh setting boundaries. Regardless, it… hurts.”
But Hughdidwant Linden. I was certain of it. I really believed if both got their heads out of their asses, they’d see that.
Then I was hit with another cursed epiphany. Why did epiphanies gut-punch you?Fuck. We weren’t a fully functional and thriving relationship because Hugh and Linden belonged together. They always had. Their issues were unresolved. If they could let go of the stigma of being cousins, they could be together. I think they both wanted that but were too afraid.
Being cousins wasn’t the only thing holding them back. It was me. Linden just confirmed it. I was the catalyst that divided the cousins. I was too much of a factor in their decision-making. Iwastheir bridge in bringing them closer without them actually having a relationship together. Without me, I was certain they could make a go of it. I was confident that if Linden werehonest with his feelings, Hugh would reciprocate. With me in the middle, I was making it more complicated, especially for Linden. He was worrying too much about what would happen to me instead of grabbing what he wanted.
