Cuz. That word right there was clear. We’d never be more than that. As long as he stayed in my life and we took care of Atlas, it was enough. Inwardly, I laughed at myself for being ridiculous.
“God, I shouldn’t have talked back to him like that.”
“Yes, you should have, and I’m fucking proud of you for doing that.”
I managed to smile at him, feeling even more appreciative. “Thanks.”
“Meh, he’ll get over it. He’s just pissy because he lost a lot of money.”
“Yeah, well… fuck him. And fuck Tamara.”
Just then, Atlas knocked and walked in. “Knock, knock…” As soon as he saw us, he stopped and closed the door behind him. “Uh-oh. What happened?”
“Dad happened.”
“It wasn’t pretty,” Linden agreed.
Atlas looked so sexy today. He wore a lacy black blouse that buttoned up to the top of his throat underneath his black suit. It was frilly like you’d seen on women’s dresses way back when. He accessorized it all with red earrings and a necklace. Even his lipstick was fire engine red, a color he knew I was a sucker for.
I loved how he paired his suits with increasingly feminine touches. I’d been overhearing the women on staff gush about him.
Atlas walked over to me, sat on my lap, and wrapped his arms around my neck. “Do you need some control back?”
I furrowed my brow. What did he mean by that? “Control back?”
He nodded and pressed his lips to my forehead. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’ll… try, but when you say things like that, the probability of my getting mad is high.”
“I’ve come to know you and Linden quite well over the past month and a half. You get especially sex driven whenever you have a hard time with your dad. I think you like to reclaim some of your control. I can help you with that.”
The epiphany hit like a sledgehammer. Atlas hadn’t meant it to hit so hard, but the punch went straight to my soul. Was he right? I’d always been highly sexual and chalked it up to that, but yes, whenever I had a harder time with Dad, I pushed my sexual boundaries.
“Oh,” was all that escaped me. Then I looked at Linden, who eyed me with concern. Fuck, did he notice it, too? He smiled sheepishly and shrugged.
How had I been so obtuse? I always thought I had good self-introspection, but perhaps not. Then I reflected on the moment Chloe asked whether I was intentionally sabotaging my job. Yeah, I was pretty dense. I had things to think about, but not today.
Atlas placed his smooth hands on my face. “It’s okay. Don’t feel bad or question it. Whatever you need to do to be in control of your life. I’ll give you what you need, darling.” He adjusted his body so that he was straddling me before dragging a finger down my face, throat, and to my chest. “Oh, and I forgot your lunch. I’m so, so very sorry, honey.”
I grinned crookedly, feeling the onset of panic wash away quickly with his accepting words. Atlas wasn’t being critical at all. He just implied that he accepted me in all my flawed forms.
I tried not to dwell on this recent discovery and made a mental note to see a therapist. Instead, I jumped at Atlas’s offer to be naughty for me so I could punish him and get my stress out.
I reached around him and fisted his hair from behind. “You don’tsoundsorry.”
“Nope, he doesn’t at all. I think our princess needs to be severely punished,” Linden said, his voice tinged with humor.
Linden. Another person who’d always accepted all of me and never once complained.
“What do you think, Princess? Do you need to be punished?”
Atlas chewed on his bottom lip as he was prone to doing when he wanted to look cute, and it worked. “I think I need to be taught a lesson. I was really, really bad for forgetting your lunch, Mr. Cross.”
I growled when I stood and took Atlas with me. I set him on his feet, spun him around, and before I shoved him against my desk, I ran a hand across the surface, sending everything scattering onto the floor, and I didn’t give a fuck. It was cathartic. “Punishment it is.”
Atlas was right. I had this urge to feel in control. To feel like I was in charge of my life. But it was never about hurting others. It was all about bringing pleasure to my partner and me.
“Hot,” Linden whispered.
