“There may be a slight trust thing, too.”
“Emma, your ex was a jerk. There are plenty of amazing men out there. I know there’s one for you,” Ryder said, ever the romantic.
“Okay… maybe. We’ll see.”
That night, after we got home, I had a gallon of water so I didn’t wake up hungover, headed to Ryder’s bedroom, and knocked on his door.
He was shirtless, wearing only joggers, and I tried not to stare at his hot-as-sin body. We both worked out, but Ryder was refined and defined. I wondered what Hugh and Linden looked like under their clothes. I’d only seen them from the waist down, and they had some sexy legs, among other things.
“What’s up, At?”
“Can I come in? I want to talk about something.”
“Sure.”
Ryder stepped aside and closed the door behind him when I walked in and sat on the edge of his bed.
“So, you got a thing with two other men going on?”
“Yeah.”
“How is that working out? This thing between Hugh, Linden, and me is so new. Like… how did it start, and how do you all communicate? I haven’t been in any sort of relationship, so I want to make sure I don’t fuck this up. Granted, it’s not permanent or anything. It’s for fun, but…”
He smiled at my rambling and sat next to me. His eyes still had dark circles under them, but I didn’t ask how he was feeling. Every time one of us did, he’d wave us off and downplay whatever was going on with him.
“It’s just for fun for us, too. We aren’t in any relationship. It’s private, so don’t say anything… got it?”
“Yeah, of course. My situation is private, too.”
“So, Knox and Finn were already together. It’s a long story I won’t get into. They wanted to branch out a bit and see what it’d be like to bring in a third. They chose me. I had to sign an NDA, which I’m currently violating…”
I raised my hands. “You can trust me. I had to sign one, too.”
“So, we had to create rules of expectations and such. We all signed that, too. But it’s been almost a month now, and I’m really liking them. They’ve been a great escape.”
Escape? Interesting.
“Escape from what?”
Ryder abruptly stood and started digging in his drawers for a T-shirt. “Nothing. I only mean… I’ve been kind of stressed, and they take that away. But yeah… I like them a lot. They’re not only sexy as heck, but they’re kind, communicative, and supportive. They’ve allowed me to explore my sexuality openly, which was the main reason I accepted their deal.” Ryder pulled out a purple T-shirt, closed his drawer, and put it on over his head. “I was bisexual in a small town, so I never got to see what it’s like to be with a guy until I moved to DC. I was afraid to find someone because I was clueless about it all. They let me explore without shame, and they’ve been teaching me so much.”
“Wow, that’s cool. So… you want more from them?”
He nodded and folded his arms across his chest as he leaned against his dresser. “Yeah, I’d like to, but I haven’t talked to them about it yet.”
“You should.”
“Yeah. Maybe… soon. So, how about you? Are you catching feelings already?”
“No, we’ve barely done anything yet. But that first night… It was intense and hot. I want more of it. We’ve messed around only once so far besides that night, but I’m supposed to go to Hugh’s place for dinner tomorrow. I’m sure they’ve got plans for me.”
Ryder smirked, brightening up his face. “Sounds fun. I’m sure you’ll be in for a wild ride. I know I have. I’ve discovered things about sex I never even dreamed about.”
“That soundsreallyfun. I just…”
I looked down at my hands on my lap and shrugged. Ryder sat next to me and rested a hand on my back. “You just what? You seem… off.”
“I dunno… They’re likewayout of my league, you know? They’re gorgeous, built, elegant, masculine, classy, wealthy… all the things I’m not. I’m not sure what they see in me, honestly. I… don’t need reassurance or anything. It’s a fact. But god, when I’m with them… any insecurities I have go right out the window. They make me feel… desired and seen. I suddenly become the center of their attention.”
