“Don't ask!” I say, kissing the top of his head.
“Meow!”
His shoulders begin to shake and it’s not before long we are in another fit of laughter.
* * *
It’s different this time. There are no flashing lights, no car, no pavement, and no blood. The sun is shining, and I can hear her laughter echoing around me before she finally comes into view. Just like before, she is sitting on the old swing set. I take a seat on the swing next to her. Hearing it groan under my weight, she laughs. It’s that sound I never realized was missing from my life.
“Oh, you think it’s funny, do you?”
She starts to laugh harder. “You should see yourself. You’re a grown man trying to fit in a kid’s seat.”
I look down at myself and can see why she is laughing so hard. But really, she could tone it down a notch. If it means seeing her, I’ll sit every time.
“Listen, there is something I have to tell you.”
“Save your breath big brother, if it’s about Mom I already know. Look around, we kinda know shit up here!”
I scoff, “language!”
“Ugh, fine! We knowstuff! Is that better?”
“I don’t know why I was ever afraid you couldn’t hold your own?” I say in bewilderment.
The feel of her small hand on my shoulder catches me by surprise. I’ll do whatever I can to burn that feeling into memory. “Now you’re getting it.”
“Smart ass!”
She scoffs, “language!”
We both laugh, then go quiet.
“I’m proud of you Finn, you did it. You changed your future for the better.” She dug her toes in the dirt, slowing herself until she twisted in her seat. “And I really like Spencer, so please don’t fuck this up!”
“Jacqueline!”
“Ok, I’m sorry. Geez, last one I promise. You know I always love a good swear word.”
Yeah, so did her principal.
“And I won’t. There is something different about him. Sometimes I have a hard time grasping it, it's like there are all these tiny things different about him, but together they make up the most beautiful man. He makes me want a future with him!”
“Good thing he can be. You just have to choose it!” she says with a smirk, then points to her ring finger.
“Oh my god, Jacqueline. We have not known each other that long!”
“I've always wanted to be a flower girl. Come on!”
“Yes, ok! Someday I will, and then you can float down on a cloud, but until then slow your roll!”
She rolls her eyes at me, no doubt due to the fact that I acknowledged she is not alive. It doesn’t matter though, I will keep her memory alive any way I can.
From outside the fog, I feel Spencer nuzzle against me before his words filter through.
“Tell her I say hi, and not to worry. I’ll love you forever!”
“Sounds like you better get going!” She wiggles her eyebrows, “and tell him thank you!” she sing-songs. We chuckle at the joke as I let myself be pulled back to the naked man next to me.
