All the air got sucked out of the room, and Finn walked out the door right along with it.
Beckett looked at Jaxon, then me.
“Give me a min, so I can give him the details, okay?”
I nod my head, “yes, of course!”
Beckett followed him out the door.
Jaxon wraps his arm around my shoulder, leaning in. “He’ll be okay, Spencer,” his voice unable to hide his concern. “We just need to give him a couple minutes. Come on, let’s sit.”
He guides me to the couch, where I’m flanked by Alex and Jules. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what just happened. I want to wrap my arms around him and hold him, comfort him. I never thought I would voluntarily carry around someone else’s pain. I had enough of my own. But right now, the powerful need to take Finn’s and carry it for him, is enough to clear any doubt I had about what these feelings I have for him are. I love him. I just hope I’ll still get to tell him.
“Do you think he will have to go back?” I ask Jaxon, who is sitting across from me on the coffee table.
“I don’t know. They probably want to release the body to him for burial.”
“Right, of course. He’ll want to bury her back home.” I give myself an internal eye roll at my stupidity. Of course he’s going to want to bury his own mother. Plus… It’s his home!
Jaxon taps his hand on my leg. “Don’t worry Spencer, he’ll come back.”
That little voice in the back of my brain nags at me, telling me what a fool I am. I’m just not someone who you stick around for. I wear makeup and lingerie; I have book clubs and watch hours of the BBC.
I feel my breathing start to quicken, and my head goes hazy. The pain of Finn not coming back rips at my insides.
“I can’t lose him… I love him!” breaks through on a sob.
“No shit, Sherlock!” Jules says, kissing my cheek.
“That guy is completely in love with you,” Alex says.
I scrunch my face up.No, he is not!
Jaxon snorts, “he is so in love with you it’s almost sickening. I may complain that I slept wrong, but all Finn ever talks about is you. Plus, the gift was his idea…. Whatever happens, you guys will figure it out.”
CHAPTER24
Finn
I seethe shadow moving in front of me, but I don’t register it. My whole body is numb, except for the sound of blood rushing through my veins. I don’t even know when the last time I took a breath was. I don’t understand what is happening!
Beckett’s words rattle in my head.Your mom passed away! Your mom passed away!
I can’t quite get a grasp on how I’m feeling because in my current state, I feel nothing. No anger, sadness, or heartbreak. Absolutely nothing!
“Finn? Finn?” Beckett’s voice begins to break through the haze. “Try to take a couple deep breaths.”
I do as he says, filling my lungs with as much air as I can before slowly exhaling. The shadow still pacing in front of me slowly comes into focus and I see Beckett, his face scrunched with concern.
I clear my throat, trying to fight back the lump forming. She finally did it.
“What happened?” I manage to croak out.
Beckett moves to sit on the coffee table in front of me, placing his hand on my knee and gently squeezing. I focus on his touch, keeping me in the present.
“They, umm, they found her in a crack den. It sounds like she was dead for at least a day before anyone even noticed.”
“Fuck,” I mumble, scrubbing my hands up and down my face, needing to get my head on straight.
