He is silent for a beat too long, and I break into panic mode.Shit, Should I be talking first?What if I’m being presumptuous and he was just busy, and this has nothing to do with yesterday? He clears his throat and my heart leaps into mine.
“Everything I shared with you the other night was so personal. It brought a lot of emotions to the surface. Feelings I was left to then weed through. Feelings that I have been needing to weed through for a long time.” There is deep sadness in his eyes.
Maybe I should have pushed harder to let him know he did not have to tell me anything. I sure as hell did not want to cause him any added pain to his already bruised heart.
Finn inches his hand closer to mine, linking our pinkies together.
“So when I was walking by and saw you with another man’s arms wrapped around you, my brain could not rationalize what it was seeing. My legs just started walking and before I knew it, I was having a full on panic attack. I made it to the little park in the town square, but by then my mother’s words were echoing like a freight train through my head. Telling me I’m not good enough, that I deserve to spend my life alone. All of her horrible words came rushing back.”
“Oh Finn, I swear it was not what it looked like.”
“Shh, I know sweetheart, just let me finish, okay?”
I nod my head, “Okay.”
“Jaxon and Dom were walking by and saw me. They figured out what was happening and were able to talk me through it. Normally it’s just in my dreams, but every once in a while it bleeds into the real world.”
Finn threads his fingers through mine and squeezes. My heart aches for him, and what he has been through. I can see it now. He has dark circles under his eyes. His posture is of someone who is tired and barely hanging on.
“Anyway, they both helped me see things rationally, after I calmed down.” His hand comes up and cups my cheek and I lean into his touch. “I opened my eyes, and I saw you, every single piece of you.”
My heart does crazy things at his words of declaration.
“I’m glad you had Jaxon and Dom to help you through it. I have anxiety attacks. I know they are different from panic attacks but the toll that they take on you mentally and physically are alike.”
“I’m happy I had them too. I have never been surrounded by friends who would take the time to help me. It was a foreign feeling. Dom even mentioned something about PTSD, which I had never thought of before. I know panic and anxiety attacks manifest differently for people and from what I've heard, anxiety is no joke either. You live with it every second of your day, the degree of severity constantly changing. My panic attacks come out of nowhere. There is no buildup. I’m lucky I get some rest in between. With anxiety the level never goes to zero.”
“I have never heard it described like that before. You just made me feel so seen.” I stare at Finn in awe, a tear wanting to escape. With my anxiety I spend a lot of time in my head, and it's hard for people to understand. For me, the worst is when I’m with other people. I will spend days analyzing conversations, worried I will stick my foot in my mouth or say something stupid.”
Finn wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. “I’m sorry that I didn’t call last night. I had every intention. Jaxon sent me home early to rest. I meant to take a nap but ended up sleeping through until the morning.”
“What? No, I should be the one apologizing to you.” Feeling more confident in our connection, I move to straddle his lap. Cupping his face with both of my hands, I search into his eyes, making sure he sees me, just like he did to me a few weeks ago.
“I was meeting with the contractor, Liam. He told me that when they take downWall McAssholeI will only have to close the store for a couple of days. That tidbit of news, of course, required a happy dance.” My hips sway in a dance, grinding our cocks together through a very frustrating fabric. The look of desire clouding over his eyes sends a jolt straight to my dick. I press the heel of my palm against my cock, trying to calm the situation I inadvertently started.
“But, since I’m also someone who likes to keep everyone on their toes, as you call it, I tripped and collided right into Liam, and to bring my celebration down another peg, I proceeded to get nailed in the face with his contractor clipboard thingy,” I say, waving my arms around like I know the sign language for thingy.
Finn’s lips curl into a smile. He has got to know I’m telling the truth.I mean, really, how many times have I fallen into his arms?
“I should have called you to clear things up, but I was worried that you would think I was being needy. You said you would call me and I’ve been trying to play it cool, calm and collected when, in all reality, I’m a mess. The proof is in an empty container of Toasted Almond Fudge currently sitting in the trash,” I sigh. Feeling anxious, I avert my eyes away. “This is usually the stage where everyone walks away.”
He places his hand on the nape of my neck, drawing me in. His lips ghost over mine. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here as long as everyone wants to keep me.”
There is a ping in my chest at the sharp reminder that this is not completely in our hands. I push all that aside for now and focus on the feel of being in his arms and the taste of his lips when he brings our mouths together.
The kiss is slow and heated, more calculated, like he is trying to map out my mouth with his tongue. His arms snake around me, pulling me in tight against him. Finn moves his hands under my shirt. My skin pebbles at the light touch of his fingertips when he runs them up and down my spine. My cock throbs, having woken up from a two-day slumber, wanting that sweet release. His hands find my ass, giving it a firm squeeze. I moan at the sensation of possessiveness.
His hands trace back up my body, only this time my shirt comes up with a flurry of motion and our slow and heated kiss turns desperate and frantic. I raise my arms over my head, Finn stopping only long enough to get my shirt off. As soon as it hits the floor, my fingers search for the hem of his shirt, lifting. There is no slow seduction. I need his skin touching mine, anywhere, everywhere!
Our mouths collide again, and he murmurs against my lips. “You feel so good. I can’t get enough. I want every piece of you,” he says in between desperate pants.
And I want to makehimfeel good.
He encouraged me when I was feeling at my lowest about myself. After all the pain and heartache he has gone through, I feel this need to soothe him. He deserves to have someone in his corner. Fuck, he deserves to have the whole fucking universe in his corner.
I pop the button on his jeans, lowering the zipper. My knuckles skim over his sensitive skin. He releases a shaky breath against my lips. Bucking his hips up when I reach into his underwear and palm the skin of his silky smooth cock, Finn groans at the contact, and I can’t help but smile against his lips. I give his dick a few firm strokes before using my thumb to smear pre-come over the head of his cock.
“Oh, yeah, that’s it baby… God, that feels so good.” He tries to unbutton my jeans, but they don’t move an inch. “But we are seriously going to talk about these skinny jeans later. First, I wanna see what’s underneath.”
