My father, whoever he is, could have not given a shit about me either. Who the fuck walks out on their five-year-old son and leaves them in the hands of a drug addict who cared more about getting their next fix, than making sure they put food on the table?
When Max and later Jacqueline came along, I did whatever I could to make sure they had food, even if that meant stealing in order to eat. I did other things that I’m not proud of too, but what choice did I have?
Max was a furious kid, violent. His dad would pop in and out of his life, and never for the better. I tried to help him, but I didn’t know how, and eventually he followed in our mother’s footsteps. Now, they are like two peas in a pod, but in this case, the pod is a crack den.
Jacqueline, my sweet, kind, full-of-love Jacqueline.My failing you will forever haunt me. I know it was not my fault, but I was supposed to protect you, and now…Shaking off the memory that works to pull me down to the gates of hell, I take a deep breath and wipe my now damp eyes.
I’m going to do something, make something of myself, and maybe someday I’ll believe Beckett and Jaxon when they tell me I deserve a better future. But they don’t know the things I’ve done, the things I had to do just to survive. My stomach churns at the thoughts.
I need to think about something else; I can’t let my mind stay there. I look around this place that is now my reality. A nice clean apartment. No broken furniture, stained walls or whoever my mom was sleeping with to get her next fix hanging around.
The apartment mirrors Spencer’s, but my kitchen is more open, and instead of a giant couch you could get lost in, I have a black leather couch with a glass coffee table and a big screen TV hanging on the wall. Off to the side, by the bed, is a nice desk with a lamp on it.
I move over to my bag and take out my sketchbook and place it on the desk, along with my favorite pencils. Maybe tomorrow I can see if there is some kind of art supply store around here?
The oven timer goes off and I walk into the kitchen, grab another beer and pull the pizza out. The smell of it reminds me of how hungry I am.
I inhale half the pizza down in five minutes.
Feeling sated, exhaustion starts to kick in, so I quickly grab my toiletries out of my bag and step into the bathroom. I turn the shower all the way to hot, hoping to soothe my muscles. I brush my teeth, then pull out my razors until I see a box shoved to the side…that asshole, a box of condoms.
When I left, Beckett told me, “This is your chance to get laid across America. How many people get to do this in their lifetime? You'd be doing a disservice to mankind if you don't make the most of this opportunity.” Finding someone to fuck was the last thing on my mind. I think in all reality, he is the one who really needs to get laid.
I step into the shower and just stand there, letting the spray wash away the grime of the road and the heat soothe my sore muscles.
My mind flashes back to Spencer, the adorable as fuck bookstore owner. When I first saw him bending over to pick up his keys, his perfect, round butt was right there! I was so distracted I didn’t even realize I was in his way.
When I no longer have the strength to stand, I quickly wash myself then grab a towel to dry off with before wrapping it around my hips.
The bed looks like the seventh wonder of heaven right now. I think my body is almost crying at the sight. Grabbing my phone, I quickly set my alarm before dropping the towel and climbing into bed. The clean sheets instead of gross, who knows when they were washed last, motel sheets, feel amazing against my skin.
I fire off a quick text to Beckett, letting him know that Jaxon is just as welcoming as he said he would be and that I would call in in a few days when I got settled.
As I drift off, my mind goes through everything that happened today.
The guys at Ink Me were all great. If I just keep my head down, I think I can learn a lot from them. I’m excited to sit in on some sessions with Dom. They are all really talented. Jasper had some of his sketches hanging in his station, and they were crazy good. They aren’t even drawings of tattoos; they are pure art, just like Jaxon said. There is a charcoal drawing hanging on his wall of shattered glass, with two men, all skin and mouths, kissing in the reflection. It’s breathtaking.
The last thing to cross my mind before entering a blissful sleep is Spencer. His messy hair and shy smile make a warmth grow in my chest. He is sexy and his eyes are striking. Just the thought makes my cock start to grow. I reach down and give my dick a few lazy strokes. God, he felt good pressed beneath me. I let my dick calm down as I settle into a hopefully deep and peaceful sleep.
* * *
Because that was one of my better nights’ sleep in a long while, and because I was so excited to start this new day, this new life, I was up and out of bed as soon as my alarm went off. Next, I go into the bathroom to relieve myself, before brushing my teeth, and shaving. I throw on a tee-shirt and jeans, then make my way to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee before heading out the door. Watching my step, I make a mental note to talk to Jaxon about the stairs.
Opening the door of Ink Me, I take a deep breath. This is it. This is going to be the first day of me living a better life. I search out Jaxon, and I find him sitting in his office staring at his phone.
“Ummm, hey. I hope I’m not interrupting?”
Jaxon pulls his eyes from his phone and greets me. “Hey man, how was the apartment? Is everything good?”
“Yeah, it’s great. I think I got the best sleep I’ve had in a while.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“I was hoping to talk to you for a minute?” I say.
“Sure, what up? Is everything alright?” he says with his eyebrows raised and concern on his face.
“I met Spencer last night. He seems like a sweet kid. I can see why you and the guys like to look out for him. I also met Jules. She is about as scary as Mira,” I say while nodding my head.
