“That’s an ‘Off, you fuck,’” Jess sighed. “But get your arse back here as soon as you can. I’ll oversee the investigation, although God knows I’ve got enough on my plate. Mitch can step up and head the team—he might finally get to use his own office. He can move in while you’re gone.”
Swann opened his mouth and closed it again. He hadn’t a leg to stand on. At least the case would be in good hands, with Jess as SIO in his absence. She was a stellar officer, with some great results under her belt. She might be small in stature, but she took shit from no one. Swann didn’t feel guilty for abusing their friendship because he wouldn’t be gone long. A feeling of foreboding closed around him. He only hoped he would reach Elea in time.
Chapter 54
Elea inhaled the crisp, fresh Finnish air as she emerged from the airport. It felt good to be home. The memory of Liisa was stronger in her hometown. Despite everything they’d found in Lincoln, her little girl would always be in Porvoo, waiting to be rescued. Coping with the loss of her child had been one of her biggest challenges, because even if Liisa was alive, she would be an adult now and Elea would have to get to know her all over again. A traumatised young woman, most likely wondering why her mother saved so many people, but not her.
She pulled her bag over her shoulder. She had left in a hurry, only needing a few basic items, as everything else would be at home. A mobile-phone power bank, a washcloth and a change of clothes. She’d dressed for the cold, her boots comfortable but waterproof over her jeans. Her house lay empty in her absence, her neighbour watering her plants and keeping an eye on things. At least she’d managed to get some sleep during the flight.
Elea wouldn’t be going home just yet. Her journey would take her straight to Maria. Straight to Anu. She had it all planned. She would ask to be alone with Anu, because some things couldn’t be said in front of a parent. There were all sorts of reasons why children wanted to protect their loved ones from the truth. No, Elea corrected herself, Anu was an adult now. She had always thought of Anu as a sad little blonde child, lost and far away. But the monster who took the girls in Lincoln hadn’t ventured far from their homes. Had it been the same with her own daughter? There were plenty of lonely cabins in Finland. Places miles away from any neighbour, but still close to Porvoo. Had Liisa been within walking distance all along?
Elea sat in the back of the cab, remembering all the miles she had crossed trying to find her daughter. The search had been thorough. Sniffer dogs, helicopters, and an army of officers on the ground. She had driven along every road. Walked the tracks that could not be reached by car. She had got herself into trouble on more than one occasion when night had closed in, saved only by the tracker that Swann had insisted she put on her phone. The nights that she had soaked her numb toes, willing life to come back into them. The countless saunas she had taken, trying to restore her aching body. After six long months the area had seemed so vast, her search so hopeless. That was when she became obsessed with work. Because it would have taken something extraordinary for Liisa to go with a stranger, after everything Elea had taught her about crime. She’d scrutinised each suspect brought into police custody, sure that she’d see that difference—their ability to gain a young girl’s trust. They wouldn’t have had long to act on that stretch of road at that time of the day. It would have taken more than brute force alone. Elea recalled her conversation with Sophie Miller, and how her captor had used a dog to gain her trust. But did he use human traffickers to steal Chelsea first? It didn’t make any sense. Elea suppressed a shudder. Mitch was right. They could have been chasing the wrong lead.
Her brows knitted together as her surroundings passed in a blur. Liisa would have known not to stop for a dog. So unless he was riding a horse...Now there was a creature capable of making Liisa dismiss every sensible thought.No, don’t be stupid, Elea told herself. It just wasn’t feasible. There were plenty of car tracks on the road that day, but no sign of bloody horse hooves. As if Liisa would jump aboard and ride into the sunset with a stranger.
She stared, mesmerised by the flecks of snow touching the windscreen. Soon she would have answers. They would come in the quiet darkness, without fanfare. They would come tonight. She could wait.
She thanked the cab driver, giving a hefty tip as she always did. He hadn’t been vocal during the journey, and she was grateful for it. Maria’s cottage was isolated fromits neighbours, down an icy track. Her outside light came onautomatically as Elea trudged through the snow. Maria opened the door, her face bright, despite the late hour. Years of grief and loss had sunk her eyes deep into her sockets and sharpened her cheekbones. She was what Elea’s father used to call a “handsome woman,” but had aged terribly over the years. Her once-long blonde hair was now chopped into a bob, which hung harshly along her jawline. But tonight there was a sparkle of happiness in her features that Elea had never seen before. The cabin was warm and cosy, the lights soft.
“It’s good to see you,” Elea whispered. That was the understatement of the century. They had been on a shared journey that was almost at its end. Maybe Elea was wrong. The answers would not come quietly. Now that she was here, she felt like she was hurtling towards a cliff edge. She wasn’t ready and felt suddenly scared. She’d always thought that Liisa would surface before Anu. She couldn’t help the bitterness that bloomed in her chest. Where was Anu?
The question must have been on her face as Maria led her in. “Come. Anu’s in bed.”
Elea nodded, steeling herself as she followed Maria down the hall.
Chapter 55
Liisa · 2017
Ilie on my bed, staring at the ceiling, gripping my small wooden doll. A whole year has passed. I am still here. Still alive. Mikael seems different to me, now that I know his secret, but I’m no less scared of him.
I was thrown into the hole three more times. Every time I came out, I left a piece of my old self behind. The second time I tried to escape I was left down there for a week. At least it was summer and the earth wasn’t quite so icy to the touch, but the smell rising from the ground was unbearable; something was rotting down there. I was stupid to try to escape when I was so unprepared. I’d barely made it through the cabin door when Mikael dragged me back. Johanna roared like a wild animal and came at me with a knife. Mikael grabbed it from her as she gasped for breath, his fingers wrapped around the blade. I’ll never forget the look that passed between them when he overpowered her. She stepped back, suddenly afraid. Blood dripped from his hands as he took control that day. But it was Mikael who jabbed me with the home-made stun gun and pushed me down into the hole. If Johanna had been in full health, I wouldn’t be here today. Sometimes, during those long hours when spiders crawled over my skin, I wished that shehadended my life in this rotten, unfeeling world. The hole broke my spirit. Sitting there in the dirt and the blackness made me feel like nothing at all.
Then my late-night chats in the living room with Mikael changed the way I thought. I was allowed to sit next to the fire, while Johanna dozed on the sofa. She was losing weight, and her gaunt face had taken on a yellowish tinge. As she grew weaker, Mikael told me about my home in Porvoo and explained why I needed to leave it behind. Night after night, over the year, I had no choice but to listen. I was so hungry for company, so grateful for any scrap of kindness, and I wanted to hear about Porvoo, even if it wasn’t good.
“Your mama has moved on,” he told me. “Forget about her, because she’s forgotten all about you.” I didn’t believe him at first. I didn’t need to say it; he could see it in my eyes. Then he showed me the newspaper, and the announcement that made my spirits fall. Mother had married an English man. His name was Richard Swann. “They’re moving to England,” Mikael told me, although he seemed to take no pleasure from it. “Your house has been put up for sale.” Then he showed me the listing, which he’d printed off on his computer. I believed every word. He comforted me as I cried. “This is why we chose you,” he whispered, one cold stormy night. The wind whistled through the windowpanes and Johanna had fallen asleep again in the living room. “We knew that you would not be missed.”
“Mama loves me,” I cried, staring miserably into the fire that danced and swayed.
“Only because she had to,” he replied with a shrug. “Now she’s free.” Then he looked at Johanna. “Mothers are meant to protect their children. But they don’t.” The scar on his face said as much.
Mikael didn’t speak many words, but on nights like that, each one was a knife to my heart. He has so many layers. I don’t know him at all. I don’t think he knows himself. But now, as the year has passed, Johanna has got sicker, and Mikael has become more in control.
On the days when she is well, Johanna sits at her sewing machine, making dresses for me. I’m not allowed to wear regular clothes because, according to her, in this “modern day and age,” women “dress like sluts.” But I’m not a woman. Not yet. When she is sick, Johanna lies on the sofa with her knitting, her needles clacking as she watches us both. Her breath is so rancid these days that it fills the room. Mikael says it’s a side-effect of her medication. Nice-smelling things are a distant memory now. I miss the scent of sweetgrass in the meadow near our home. The warm cinnamon buns that Grandmother would bake in our small kitchen, and the smell of the sweet cloudberry jam that she would have bubbling on the stove. On those days Mother would come home from work, inhaling all of its goodness, and smile.
Johanna speaks to Mikael about me often. She is waiting for me to be ready. For our so-called wedding day. When she can, she walks to my bedroom, her movements stiff and slow. She rips the blankets from my bed and closely checks the sheets. I have never been scared of nature until now.
If I’m good, Mikael shares his newspaper. I read it from cover to cover. Sometimes pages are missing. There is nothing about me. Some days he brings me chocolate, other times he calls me a brat and tells me to shut up. I’ve seen him watch Johanna as she sleeps. The emptiness in his eyes makes me feel scared. He tells me about the bad things that happen to children in foster care. “You’d better hope the police don’t find you,” he says as night draws in. “Terrible things happen to children in those places.” And I wonder: how could foster care be worse than here? Then he reaches out and squeezes my hand, and I try very hard not to pull away. He’s told me about the girl who came before me. She was exactly my age, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. “She wouldn’t stop screaming,” Mikael told me once, after drinking too much beer. “Johanna lost her temper and then we had to get rid of her.” I think about her often. I wish she didn’t have to die.
I still can’t believe that Mama has left the country. That someone else is living in my home. On my birthday I sat, miserably, in my chair. Mikael brought a cake out. He’d bought it in town because he’s useless at baking, and Johanna wasn’t up to it anymore. He lost his temper when I wouldn’t blow my candles out. Then he dragged me to the front door by the scruff of my neck and told me to run. It was a test. I stared into the snow, my feet glued to the ground. Johanna was asleep in her room. I looked up at Mikael, imagining all the different ways in which things could turn out. Soft flakes of snow touched my skin as a blizzard rolled in. He offered his hand. I took it and allowed him to lead me back inside. “I am yours and you are mine,” he said. “We don’t need Johanna anymore.” It felt like a test. One that I had passed.
That night I heard muffled sounds coming from Johanna’s room. I heard the creak of her door as Mikael left. The next morning, when I got up, Mikael told me that she was dead.
Chapter 56
Elea stood in the hall of Maria’s home, a small, unassuming abode cluttered with artwork leaning against the walls. It was clean but somewhat neglected, its carpets and furniture well worn. Maria sighed. “I hope I’ve done the right thing.” Her face was bright with emotion. “It all feels like a dream.”
The corners of Elea’s eyes wrinkled as she smiled. “I’m happy for you, my friend.” She meant it. But it didn’t lessen her pain as she approached the truth. According to Maria, Anu knew that she was coming. Elea only hoped the time away from the investigation in Lincoln was worth it. She took her friend’s hand, an uncharacteristically tactile gesture. “Don’t worry. I won’t push things.”
