Dad perks up. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you to be seen out to dinner a week after your husband was killed.”
His words hit like a slap across the face. Of course the first time he mentions Ben’s death, it’s used as a weapon.
I tighten my grip on my fork. “Hank is picking me up. There are a lot of things we need to go over and I don’t want to put it off any longer.”
Silas throws me a questioning look but I ignore him. Margaret is steadily sipping her glass of wine, ignoring the judging glances Mom throws her way. Drinking at Sunday lunch is completely frowned upon in her opinion.
“Y’all can discuss whatever you need to here,” Dad says, looking at me pointedly.
Before, I would have given in and done exactly as he wanted, but I refuse to slide back into my old role any more than I already have.
“No. We’ve already made plans and I’m not changing them.”
We have a silent standoff of sorts across the table. Finally, Mom breaks the tension. “Everyone has been so kind to drop off food this week. The fridge is bursting. I’ll send a few things with you to give to Hank since we’ll never eat it all.” Then she looks at Margaret. “You can take some to your house too.”
Margaret nods but doesn’t look up from her plate.
The rest of lunch is quiet, and Margaret leaves the second our plates are removed from the table.
I can’t wait to get out of here even though I know I can’t go back to the house I shared with Ben. Yesterday proved that. Silas keeps telling methat it’s only because the grief is so new and finding Ben like that is still so fresh, but he’s wrong. There would never be enough time to make that house feel like a home.
Silas offered for me to stay with them but that’s basically like staying here since their house is on the property, a golf cart ride away. Plus, I can’t even stand to look at Margaret right now. I have no idea if he told her I know everything and I don’t care.
Once I’m settled in a hotel, I’ll tell my parents I’m not coming back because I know if I mention it before I leave, Dad will throw up every obstacle he can to keep me here.
I’ve decided to come clean with Hank and tell him everything. He’s bound by privilege to keep my secrets, but I think he would anyway because he’s my friend. While I trust Silas with my life, he’s wrapped up in this in a way that dictates his actions. But I’m not. I need someone to talk to who isn’t connected to any of it.
Silas can tell I’m planning something but he hasn’t said anything. I talked to him before church about Hank’s call and the search of Aubrey’s house. His reaction…or lack of it…tells me this was not news. He’s been weirdly quiet all day but also glued to his phone. Whatever he’s got going on, I have no desire to know what it is. Before, I was furious that Ben, Silas, and Dad had kept so much from me, but now I would welcome that ignorant bliss.
I’m putting the last bit of leftovers away when Silas appears at my side. His expression is strained.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“I need a favor.”
I dry my hands off on a rag and throw it in the sink. “Okay.”
He nods for me to follow him. Mom has disappeared to some otherpart of the house and Dad is half asleep watching the Saints game on TV. Neither of us speaks as we move across the yard to the shop on the other side of the driveway. It’s a big metal building where most of the equipment is stored but it also houses a small office where Dad and Silas take care of farm business.
We enter the shop, the only light coming from the few windows on the left side of the building. Just before we go inside, Silas stops. “My guy found the video. Aubrey had it this whole time. He’s here with it and it’s…unsettling to think about watching it but I need to see what’s on it. I just thought if you were here…”
He’s scared. Scared to see what he did all those years ago. And while he’s struggling with that emotion, it’s actually a relief to me to see it. It means he’s human. It means Dad hasn’t completely ruined him.
“Of course I’ll watch it with you.”
He gives me a brusque nod but I catch the relief in his eyes before he opens the office door, allowing me to enter first. I was expecting the room to be empty so I’m surprised by the man sitting on the couch.
My hand flies to my chest. “I’m sorry, you startled me.”
He tips his head but doesn’t say anything. Silas shuts the door behind us. “This is Frank. He works for me.”
“You were the one watching Aubrey?”
Frank looks at Silas, who has sat down in the chair behind the desk. He motions for me to take the one in front of it. “Frank found a way to get close,” Silas says cryptically.
Turning to face Silas, I ask, “That’s how you knew Aubrey’s house had been searched by the cops, isn’t it?”
He nods. “Yeah, Frank was keeping me posted.”
