“If y’all really loved me, you’d feel sorry for me and offer to work my shift for the rest of the day.” I give what I hope are really pathetic puppy-dog eyes.
Charlie and Wes look at each other a few seconds like they’re considering it. Then they both say, “Nah!”
Charlie drops down beside me. “Hey, while you’re on break…” He whips his phone out of his back pocket, pulls up something on the screen, then shoves it at me. “I need you to take this quiz.”
Wes groans. “Seriously? We’re doing this again?”
I stare at the screen, which reads, “Which Character fromThe OfficeAre You?” then look to Wes for clarification. He drags a chair away from the small table and sets it next to the couch, then takes a seat. “You know Charlie is obsessed withThe Office. He’s watched the whole series like twice by now.”
“Three times, actually,” Olivia says when she comes into the room. “Is he making her take the quiz?”
Wes nods, and I look back at Charlie’s phone. I sort of remember Charlie liking this show, but I definitely wasn’t aware it had moved to this level.
“So why am I taking this quiz?” I ask.
Wes opens his mouth to speak, but Charlie throws a hand up and shushes him. “Let her take it first.”
So I get busy. The multiple-choice questions are kind of weird. What kind of paper do I like? What’s my favorite condiment? And on and on.
“Okay, I’m done. It’s calculating my results.”
“You probably got Erin. Or Kelly,” Wes says. “Or maybe even Pam.”
“Would that be good?” I ask.
Wes smiles and nods. “Yeah, they’re cool.”
“Who’d you get?” I ask Charlie.
Wes’s mouth twists, and he looks at Olivia. They both bust out laughing.
“It’s not funny,” Charlie says.
I don’t get it. And I can’t believe how much Ihatethat I don’t get it. But then I remember this is what it was like the last several times we were together—always some inside joke from school or a club that I wasn’t in on.
Olivia finally explains. “Charlie has taken every quiz ever made with the sole hope of getting Jim because Jim is the coolest guy on the show. Everyone loves Jim.”
She’s giggling so hard she can’t speak, so Wes finishes for her. “But he gets Dwight. Every time.”
“I’ve even answered every question purposefully wrong and I still get him!” Charlie yells. He points to Wes. “He’s rigged it somehow!”
I look at Wes. “And let me guess. You get Jim?”
He nods. “Yep.”
I look down at the phone, where the results have loaded, and say, “I got Carol Stills, the real estate agent.”
Now all three of them are staring at me.
“What? Is that bad?” I ask.
Olivia finally looks away from me to Charlie. “Who’s Carol?”
Charlie looks surprised. “She was the woman who Michael dated a little while. She wasn’t on many episodes. Maybe five?”
My forehead scrunches. “How many episodes are there?”
“Two hundred and one,” they all answer at the same time.
