I’m listening to his voice and again there is a pang of recognition. I scroll through the countless suits who rolled through our placements in my mind. A sea of ordinary men parade through my memory. I’m sure I’ve met him before.
“We could use a shower. The bathroom only has a toilet and sink,” I say.
“And a toothbrush and toothpaste,” Teeny adds.
“Um…yes. Can I see Ethan?” I ask. “I just want to make sure he’s okay.”
“No. He should be the least of your worries.”
“I won’t try anything, I promise. It would make me feel better just to see him. Please.”
This seems to piss him off.
“You know, it would make me feel better if there wasn’t an assassin out there trying to end my life. I couldn’t care less if you want to check on your boyfriend. He’s lucky to even be here.”
It’s the way he says lucky that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
He turns and leaves the room, locking us back in.
I drop to the floor and think about Ethan. Vader’s entire demeanor instantly changed the second I mentioned him. Oh God…what if they did something to him? Thomas could have lied to me when he said Ethan was next door. My head pops up—next door. I run to the side of the room opposite the bathroom and knock on the wall.
“Ethan.”
Knock, knock.
“Ethan.”
Knock, knock.
Nothing.
Teeny watches me from the mattress but doesn’t say anything.
I run to the small bathroom. There is barely any space but I knock on the wall behind the toilet.
“Ethan.”
I repeat this over and over, back and forth, from one wall to the next.
Nothing.
I crumple to the floor near the toilet. Teeny comes in and hunches down next to me.
“Maybe he’s sleeping. Or the walls are too thick,” she says.
Or maybe Thomas was lying to me.
I run from the bathroom to the locked door and use both fists to pound on the wood, screaming Thomas’s name. Horrible thoughts are flying through my head and visions of Brandon’s dead body and my blood-covered hands flood my brain. I hate getting sucked back into the horrible memories I kept buried for so long, but I feel the same now that I did in that room. Helpless. Scared. Almost a year later, I’m still suffering the consequences of witnessing their murders. I don’t know that I will ever get to a point where that night doesn’t haunt me.
I have a sinking fear that Ethan’s gone. Really gone, like Brandon. I need to see him and there’s only one person who can make that happen.
Little bits of plaster fly off the wall and little puffs of fine dust float through the room. The beams in the ceiling vibrate. I bang and scream until my voice is hoarse.
My hands throb, but I beat on that door for what feels like forever. A huge piece of plaster separates from the wall in a sheet and crashes to the floor. A cloud of dust forms and threatens to overtake the room, so I grab the sheet off the bed and throw it over the food.
All I’ve managed to do is make our conditions worse.
The door flies open. Vader is back.
