I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe…
“Anna, you’re sweating,” he whispers. His voice sounds panicked.
He buries his head into my neck, right near my pulse. He pulls back and yells to Thomas, “Hey! Pull over. Something’s wrong with Anna.”
No response.
“Pull over! She’s shaking and sweating and her pulse is going crazy.”
Thomas swerves to the side of the road but doesn’t get out of the van. “If this is some stupid trick…”
The interior light flips on and Vader says, “I don’t think he’s making this up. She looks terrible.”
Thomas and Vader both bolt out of the van and the back doors fly open within minutes.
Thomas cuts my hands loose with a few swipes of his knife.
“Make sure he stays in the van,” Thomas shouts to Vader.
I hear Ethan and Vader yelling at each other but it sounds like I’m underwater.
Thomas pulls me out and the cold night air washes over my sweat-streaked face. I try to stand but fall to the ground. The total blackness of the empty back road surrounds me, strangles me. I’ve got to get out of here. The desire to run is overwhelming. Thomas pulls me back up, sitting me on the rear bumper, and then pushes my head between my knees. Tremors rush through my body.
Thomas jumps back inside and I can hear sounds of Ethan struggling. I’m so dizzy I can’t lift my head to see if they’re hurting him. The clawing fear squeezes my neck. I try to suck in air but nothing happens. The fighting in the van seems to have stopped, but I’m frozen. Thomas jumps out of the van, dropping next to me on the ground.
My mouth is open but nothing goes in or out.
“Calm down,” he says. “Deep breaths, in and out.” His voice sounds weird, like he’s trying to be nice but it’s a completely foreign concept.
I try. I lower my head and for the first time, I’m able to draw in a deep breath.
“Relax.”
I throw my head up, head-butting Thomas by accident.
“Relax?” I manage to scream out between labored breaths.
He pushes my head back down then moves away, and I risk raising it slightly so I can see if Ethan is okay. Glancing inside the back of the van, I see Ethan pinned to the ground with Vader sitting on top of him, Ethan’s hands tied behind his back. A stream of blood oozes from his mouth. The broken piece of bottle is a few inches away. Teeny is curled into a ball and whimpering softly. I’m not sure if she is awake or still unconscious.
My throat feels like it wants to close up again, so I pull myself together and try to get my breathing under control.
In and out.
I clasp my hands together, trying to stop the shudders racking my body. I can’t think about where we are or what’s going to happen to us.
So I think about Ethan. I picture us on a blanket near Cane River in Natchitoches. Our favorite spot.
Deep breaths. Eyes closed.
Teeny’s there. She’s flying a kite down the bank, running around and laughing.
Air in through my nose. Air out through my mouth.
Ethan takes my hands, pulls me in, and kisses me. Soft lips, just enough pressure. It makes me feel warm. And safe.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but my body eventually stops shaking. My breathing returns to normal, and I don’t have that clammy, about-to-throw-up feeling.
I hold on to the mental image a little longer, pulling every piece of strength I can from it. We’re still on that blanket, sitting cross-legged, facing each other. My hands in his. Our faces close.
