He flinches. “That’s not true. You want the throne. And this is how you’ll get it, by marrying into a powerful family with an army.Thinkabout it. Even if your mission in La Ciudad doesn’t succeed, you’ll still be in a position of power here, and safe.”
This is the moment to tell him that I’ve already turned down Sonco, that I’ve already chosen a future that doesn’t result in war. It’s time I trust the friend who’s spent a decade of her life pretending to be me, risking her own life. Ximena chose to support Tamaya for a reason, not because she found me lacking, but because she knew Luna had a better path for my life.
I am a seer. Not a queen.
I bite my tongue. If Manuel doesn’t trust what I want and doesn’t stop making decisions for me, then we’ll never work. I want him to be with me because he wants to, not because I’ve given up the throne. I want him to have faith in who we are together.
He takes both of my hands, his voice pleading. “I’m a ranger. You have a chance here for real security, something I’ll never be able to give you. My name doesn’t come with power or a title or money. My whole life has been shaped and forged to protect you, and this is the best way of achieving that.” He swallows hard and looks away. “Give him a chance. He’s fair and decent.”
Yes, his words are sensible and perhaps even honorable—I’mreallystarting to hate that word—but there’s a raw quality to his voice that I find particularly interesting. I take a step forward and he stiffens.
“Would you ever lie to me, I wonder?”
“I might to protect you.”
“I’m not an infant,” I snap. “And I’d like to ask you a question, but only if you give me the courtesy of treating me as an adult.”
He glowers at me. “What is it?”
“Do you love me?”
“Hell,” he says, and then lets out a low curse. “I’m not answering that.”
I wait. Only the frogs croaking and owls hooting break the sudden quiet.
“You know I do, damn it,” he snarls. “Do you think this is easy for me? It’s not. Do you think I don’t have emotions? I do. Don’t make this harder than it has be. Let me move on in peace.”
A cavernous pit opens in my heart. He’s not going to fight for me—for us. I can hardly believe it. “This is really your decision, Manuel? The only option you see is for me to marry Sonco?”
It’s as if I’ve employed the worst kind of enchantment and turned him to stone. The blood leaves his face, leaving him pale, and his eyes darken into thunderous pools. He is deadly quiet, and then his lips twist. “He can provide for you in a way that I can’t.” He sweeps his arm wide. “Look what he has, Condesa—a kingdom, loyal subjects. A powerful army. You’re his match. It’s clear to everyone but you.”
“At least he has the courage to reach for what he wants. At least he isn’t acoward.” My voice turns sour, as if I’ve dredged it through lemon juice. “Manuel, you don’t need to say another word. I understand you quite well.”
He flinches, steps away from me as if my words are a blade. Tears run down my face. I’ve hurt him. I’ve hurt us both.
“I’m not a coward for acting in the way I’ve been trained to act,” he says stiffly. “I’m not a coward for being the best guard I know how to be. I can’t believe you’d say that to me, knowing how Ifeel.I should never have entertained—should never have acted on my emotions.”
“There’s nothing more to say.” My voice cracks. “I’m sorry it had to end this way.”
“Me too,” he whispers.
Neither of us moves or speaks or even blinks for several long, torturous seconds. It’s over, really over, this time, but I can’t make myself walk away.
When the screaming starts, I blink stupidly, as if our argument, Sonco’s proposal, and this whole night were nothing but a terrible nightmare. Manuel reacts faster than I do, racing toward the temple. I follow at his heels.
“Go back!” he yells.
“Don’t you tell me what to do,” I snap as I dash into the cavern. People are rushing past me, shoving to get away from whatever is happening inside. My mouth goes dry as I draw closer to the fiesta. What is happening? Is there an attack?
“Damn it, Catalina. I’m still your guard!” Manuel roars, weaving in and out of the crowd.
Another horrifying bellow echoes in the tunnel. We burst into the main room in time to see a young man approach an Illari woman who’s cowering under one of the tables. His too-pale skin glimmers in the torchlight as he bends and drags the poor woman out by her hair. Someone else attempts to deter the attack, but the pale man slams a fist into their stomach, catapulting the Illari into the wall with a sickening crunch.
Then the pale man rips the arm of the Illari woman clean from her body.
Blood and bone splatter.
CAPÍTULO
