He gives me an incredulous look. Dude, it’s Charlie.
Luke Charlevoix? Holy shit.
What the fuck, Charlie? I hear Schmidty call out. Coty says something in French that sounds mostly like swearing.
Getting all fancy now? Wally, our goalie, asks.
She’s really got you by the short and curlies, Burly jeers.
Naw, he’s all manscaped now, aren’t you, Charlie? What Lana wants, Lana gets, mocks O.D.
Charlie replies with laughing denials as he sheds his new clothes. I can’t get over how different he looks.
I never changed like that when I first went out with Lana. It was the opposite: she liked the way I looked, but not my personality. I was too quiet for the sociable Lana; she worried that her friends would think I was a snob. Which may be why she created my brooding online image. She’s brilliant as a marketer, but not so much as a supportive girlfriend.
The guy used to be a good-natured slob and now he’s a fucking fashion model. No girlfriend is worth that, scoffs Swanny. In case you still have regrets.
I laugh. I’m getting some perspective. It’s like being that frog in the pot. At first, you think everything is fine, but the heat keeps rising.
He pulls on his practice jersey. I could not date a high-maintenance woman.
Lana has a lot of good qualities, I protest. Although right now, it’s hard to remember them.
When we’re on the ice running drills, Sinc lines up beside me. Did you see Charlie?
I nod.
I don’t get it. Why doesn’t she just pick someone that she likes? Why does she have to change them?
You’re asking me? I’ve already been there and done that, I quip.
And gotten the ripped T-shirt that he’s wearing today? Sinc jokes. At least she’s not making him look like you.
That would be weird. I shudder, then skate off to do the shooting drill. When Sinc is also done, we pick up the conversation.
So, what kind of Perfect Internet Boyfriend is he supposed to be? Sinc asks.
Given the leather jacket, I’m thinking he’s the bad boy. You know, the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. Nice girls are always attracted to them.
It’s easy to imagine Charlie in that role. He even has a scar across his cheek from a freak skate incident. And he’s got that French-Canadian accent to add an exotic quality. But his easy-going personality is the opposite of a bad boy. His friendliness must suit Lana though, and he’s obviously ready to do anything to make her happy.
Yeah. I can totally see that, Sinc agrees. It’s amazing, the way you can figure out all this shit. He pauses for a beat, then asks, Do you think we should warn Charlie?
How would we frame that? Hey, you’re sleeping with one of the hottest women on campus, but you should know that you’re going to end up with an online image that will make even more women want to date you. Charlie would be like, ‘You know, I’m good.’
We both laugh. I hated the fake popularity, but I’m an exception.
I guess she’s practising the campsite rule of leaving things better than you found them, jokes Sinc. Do you think we should peek at Lana’s socials?
I shake my head. Nothing good is going to come of that. Who cares if I’m right? I’m out, and I’m not going to start stalking my exes.
Yeah. Better stay out of it. He pauses thoughtfully. But this is exactly the kind of thing that Andy would enjoy. Maybe I’ll get her to investigate and report back to us.
Whatever. Sinc is determined to find out if my theory is right, but I don’t really care. Still, it’s a good distraction, instead of letting my mind obsess about what Cleo’s breasts would look like without a thin layer of cotton over them.
13
GUARANTEED-WIN NIGHT
