She frowns. Why would Mats do that?
They were both freshmen and centers, so they were in competition, I explain.
How do you know all this? she asks.
Jordan told me, of course. He asked me not to talk about it, so that’s why I didn’t tell you before. But now, I really need to talk to someone. You’re my best friend, so I want you to know why I feel the way I do about Mats.
Becks walks in circles to stay warm, but she doesn’t say a word.
Well… should we head back? I ask. She nods and we set off. I’m disappointed that she hasn’t responded to everything I’ve told her. It’s pretty shocking, and I was hoping to finally get her on my side and not have to hear about perfect Roy anymore.
We run in silence for a quarter mile, which is pretty unusual for us. Then Becks turns towards me. Don’t take this the wrong way, okay, Nellie?
My breath hitches. This does not sound like the sympathy I was hoping for. What is it?
I don’t know. I just… find it hard to imagine that Mats had some kind of vendetta against your brother. And he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to lie to get an advantage. He’d double down on his training to be better. Besides, Jordan played fourth line minutes last year, when he wasn’t a scratch. Whereas Mats was recruited and he played every game. They weren’t in competition.
What’s your point? I demand.
My point is that I don’t believe Jordan’s story. It doesn’t make sense. I’m sorry, I know he’s your little brother, and you love him.
I exhale. Okay, here’s the part I really didn’t want to share. The case against Jordan was that he made racist comments towards Mats. I pause, because this is the most upsetting part. You know he’s not like that.
Becks looks shocked. Shit. Well, I’ve never heard him say anything racist, but I’m a white woman.
He’s open-minded. He’s always been completely supportive of all my lesbian friends. Jordan came to the rescue of one of my high school teammates when she was getting hassled at a party. That’s the kind of guy he really is.
Becks stops and puts her hands on my shoulders. Am I the first person you’ve told this to?
I nod.
I appreciate your trust. And I believe that you believe everything you’ve told me— she begins.
I recoil. That’s a weird way to phrase it. So, you don’t believe the truth?
All I know is that your brother is a bullshitter. I’ve seen him con you because you’re so trusting and generous. Maybe you should ask Mats about this. And really listen to whatever he says.
Before I say anything harsh, I pull away from her hands and start running.
Nellie, stop, Becks calls after me.
But I run faster. I’d hoped that telling her would make me feel better, but now I feel even worse. Yes, Jordan can act like a prick. And yes, I can be overprotective, but I’ve felt responsible for him since our parents split. My parents were happy that Jordan was going to Monarch so I could look out for him. And then my dad was so disappointed when Jordan dropped out.
And now even my best friend isn’t taking my side.
Ooof. Suddenly, I’m sprawled facedown in a snowbank with Becks sitting on top of me.
Fuck! Did you just tackle me? I brush snow off my face and twist around so I’m facing her. Get off. You weigh a ton.
I’m not getting off. You’re just going to run away again. Not that you can run from me, I’ve always been faster, she brags.
If we were on the ice, I would be faster, I grumble. If I promise not to take off, will you let me go?
She holds out her gloved hand. Pinkie promise?
I hook my pinkie into hers. We stand and brush the powdery snow away, then resume our run at an easy pace.
Nellie, you know I’ve always got your back.
