Facing the man who decided the future of her career? No biggie. Facing the man whose texts she’d guiltily read and reread the past two nights? Scarier than walking a circus tightrope with no net beneath.
“Haddie!” she heard over her shoulder, and ugh, if the sound of her name on Levi’s lips didn’t make her want to halt in her tracks. But she fought against physiology and kept moving, pretendingshe didn’t hear him, which was feasible because there was already a sizable crowd milling around.
Her plan, though, was not foolproof since once she arrived at the concession stand, she had no choice but to stop and get in line. Leaving the group for a sudden desire for a hot pretzel might have been an excuse, but now that hot pretzel was on her brain, her belly really wanted one.
“Haddie,” Levi said again, this time from right behind her.
She sighed, squared her shoulders, and spun to face him. “Levi!” she exclaimed with entirely too much enthusiasm. “Fancy seeing you here!”
Fancy seeing you here?To what decade had she just retreated?
His brows furrowed. “You’re surprised to see me at the home opener football game? Surprised to see me in line to help you carry all those pretzels? Or surprised that you’ve managed to freeze me out for two whole days, and now you have to talk to me?”
Haddie’s squared shoulders took a deep dive into Slumpsville. “The last one, I guess,” she admitted with a mumble. “But I’m angry at you, and I don’t know how to deal with being angry at someone I live with if that someone isn’t my grandmonster who ignored me as much as I ignored her.”
Levi’s shoulders fell too, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Haddie was quicker on the draw.
“This isn’t about me and my grandmonster, so don’t look at me like that, okay? This is about you and me and—”
“Andyouget to decide when and where we hash this out? Haddie…as you’ve so brilliantly pointed out, welivetogether. Andup until a couple of days ago, I thought we were friends.”
She sighed. The sincerity in his eyes and the hint of anguish in his tone were melting her frosty exterior.
“We were,” she admitted. “I mean…we are. I think. I don’t know? What do friends do when they get mad at each other?”
Levi laughed. “You mean when one friend gets mad at the other and then pretends he doesn’t exist? Come on, Haddie. You’ve gotten into fights with friends before.” He paused. “Haven’t you?”
Haddie swallowed. “So, this is the part where I’m either going to sound cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs or…well…I guess that’s the only way I’m going to sound. I’ve never had a fight with a friend before.”
Levi narrowed his eyes. “Not even Emma?”
She scoffed. “Emma and I don’t do mad.”
He shrugged. “Fine. What about any of your friends back in Chicago? You had to have gotten in a fight or two.”
Haddie shook her head slowly. “And before you accuse me of being friendless, I’m not. I mean, I wasn’t. I had plenty of people I hung out with in high school and in college, but no one close. No one like Emma.” This was the lifestyle she’d cultivated, never planning on someone like Emma who would claw her way over the drawbridge and past her moat. But saying it out loud didn’t sound cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs to Haddie’s own ears. It sounded…sad. Like she suddenly realized she might have been missing out on more Emmas in her life. Or maybe, possibly, a Levi.
He crossed his arms. “Why do I get the feeling that was by design and not because of how severely unlikable you are?”
Why? How did he see right through her?
“I don’t let people get too close, okay?” she told him. “And I think, maybe, I let you claw your way in too soon. You disappointed me, and now I don’t know what to do with that.”
“Can’t get much closer than the bedroom next door,” he offered with a tentative grin. “And claw my way in?”
She sighed. “I guess you’re like Emma. Scrappy.”
He put his hands on his hips and stood like a superhero ready to take flight. “I’m too big and strong to be scrappy.”
Haddie laughed, despite the continued feeling of unease that seemed to come hand in hand with being Levi Rourke’s roommate and friend.
“Okay,” Levi continued, taking a step back and holding up his hands. “I’m not going to push you to talk this out if you still want space, but at least hear me out.” He waited a beat, and when she didn’t stop him, he went on. “I don’t know how much you follow college football news… And I’m guessing by the look of utter disinterest on your face that the answer is not at all. But the reason why I’m here, why I have this job? It’s because I did something I shouldn’t have, even if I tell myself it was for the right reasons. Everything I do while I’m here bears weight on what I get to do when this year is up.”
He ran a hand through his hair, a pained expression on his face. “I don’t just get to go back to my job…” He shook his head. “No…mycareer. I have to pay fines. To do court-mandated counseling. I need a letter of recommendation for reinstatement from a trusted reference like Coach Crawford.” He let out a mirthless laugh. “My future is basically at his whim. Does that make any sense?”
Haddie’s heart squeezed. Of course it made sense. The sameman held both of their careers in the palm of his hand. But it didn’t change one very simple truth. “What abouttheirfuture?” she asked, motioning toward the bleachers where much of the student body congregated to cheer on the team. “Do you really believe what’s done is done?”
“I–I don’t have a choice,” he admitted. “I have to.”
