Her eyes narrow. “I saw that look. That’s the same look you had before you corrupted my poor yoga instructor last weekend.”
I scoff. “It was one date. I hardly think I corrupted the man.Youtold me he was normal.” It’s my turn to point a finger at her. “He literally asked me to piss in his mouth.”
“Please tell me you didn’t do that,” April says, horror creeping across her face.
“Of course I didn’t! I draw the line at certain bodily fluids. I blocked his number after that. Though, I will say, his chakras were certainly aligned by the time I was through with him.”
“And there goes my favorite yoga studio,” Anna grumbles. “How could I ever do the downward dog again in front of him, now that I know that?”
“If it helps, neither can he. Not since the amethyst crystal-up-the-butt incident.”
“We don’t want to know,” they say in unison.
I groan. “Seriously, though. The CEO is going to have my arse for this.” I tap my finger against my glass.
April reaches across and rests her hand over mine. “Everything will be okay. You’re good at what you do—you’ve got this.”
It’s only now that I notice the massive rock on her ring finger.
My pupils dilate as I grab her hand and yank it up to show Anna.
“What. The hell. Is this?”
April’s cheeks turn pink, and a huge smile splits her face. “I wanted to tell you in person.”
Anna shoots up from her stool so fast it crashes to the floor behind her. “Oh my God! You’re engaged!”
“Jesus Christ, you let me sit here rambling aboutworkand sticking crystals up a yoga instructor’s sphincter when you just got engaged?! What’s wrong with you?” I say.
April has been with her rock star boyfriend, James, for the past year and a half. He plays for one of the hottest new bands in progressive rock, Atlas Veil. Before that, she was engaged to his wet fart of a brother, Lucas—until she found out he was running a faceless Instagram account, luring women in with romantic poems and thirst traps behind her back. Naturally, she kicked him to the curb, and it was his younger brother, James, who stepped in to pick up the pieces.
I’m absolutely thrilled for her.
“What kind of friend are you? Tell us everything!” Anna squeals, racing around the kitchen island to squeeze April ina hug. “When did he propose? How did he do it? What were you wearing?”
“Well, to start, we weren’t actually wearing anything,” April says, a blush creeping from her cheeks down her neck. She catches my eye, and I waggle my eyebrows suggestively.
“That’s my girl,” I say, grinning. “Go on.”
“It was only two nights ago—”
“Hold up. You waitedtwo whole daysto tell us?” I interrupt.
“We wanted to enjoy our little bubble for a couple of days before telling anyone,” April says, her voice gentle.
“I’m going to assumelittle bubbleis code for a two-day shag fest,” Anna says.
“Correct.” April nods.
I swivel to face Anna. “You have a special way with words, did you know that?”
Anna raises her glass in salute. “Thank you.”
I turn to April. “Continue.”
“So, we’d just…finished,” April continues, “and I was all wrapped up in his arms.” She glances between Anna and me with a knowing smile. “You know how much I love his arms.”
“He does have a decent set of arms,” I say, lifting my glass in agreement.
