“April told me about Todd. About how selfish he was. And I’m so sorry you’ve felt like you’ve had to build these massive walls to protect your heart because that vanilla piece of shit couldn’t love every part of you.”
My posture slumps as the old wound tears slightly. “I wanted too much.Iwas too much.”
She shakes her head. “No, Gemma. You were never too much. He was just too small.”
I close my eyes.
“Here’s the thing,” she adds with conviction. “Loving is brave. And yes, when you feel something so strongly, and when your heart inevitably breaks, it doesn’t just crack. It shatters into a million little pieces—”
“Anna, I don’t know where you’re going with this, but it’s not sounding very hopeful,” I interrupt.
“I’m not finished,” she shoots back. “You might not get to choose who destroys you or how badly it aches, but youdoget to choose what you do with the wreckage afterward. So, as you sit here crying overmy brother—who I’ve watched fall apart for the last week because some twat named Todd broke you years ago—just remember this.”
She takes a breath, her eyes burning. “The same heart that’s breaking right now is the same one that’s going to feel incredible happiness when you finally let the right person show up for you. And Maxwillshow up, Gemma.”
I stare at her, tears threatening again. “I’m scared,” I whisper.
She shrugs, her eyes glistening. “Love, divorce, babies, taking risks, starting over—we’re all scared. But none of us are alone. You, me, and April? We have each other. We always will.”
And she’s right. No matter what curveballs life has thrown at us, we’ve always gotten through them—together. When April’s parents passed away in the car accident,Anna and I took shifts to cook meals and make sure she was eating, sleeping, and functioning like a human being instead of drowning in her grief. When Lucas broke her heart by cheating with women online, we held her while she cried herself sick and bought her a dildo (my idea).
We don’t believe in “I told you so.” We believe in being each other’s constants, no matter how muddled and complicated things get. April and I are going to be there for Anna through every moment of her divorce, and if she’s brave enough to walk away from her marriage because Mason can’t give her what she truly wants—a family—then I can walk toward something that scares me shitless.
I can be brave enough to fight for Max.
“Besides,” Anna says, swatting a stray tear away, “if Max screws it up and hurts you, I’ll help you key his Mercedes.”
We laugh, tears clinging to our lashes.
I squeeze her hand, sniffling. “Okay,” I breathe, and something softens where I’d been holding tight. “I’m doing this. I’m gonna keep fucking your brother.”
Anna yanks her hand away like I’ve burnt her, gripping the steering wheel. “Jesus Christ, Gemma. We were having such a nice moment!”
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Max
I learned to leave love out of my vocabulary. I didn’t chase it. I didn’t want it taking up space in my life again. I had everything I needed.
Then Gemma blazed in and derailed all of it.
Now, after seeing how terrified she is to let anyone in… All I want is to love her back to life, back to herself, back to believing she deserves to be cherished so completely. But I can’t.
For the first time in my life, I finally understand what the songs and poems are about. What drives men to madness.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to believe in love again. It was that I had been waiting my whole life to find the woman worth giving it to.
And now I’ve lost her.
“Clear. You can come through, sir.” The gentleman at airport security ushers me through.
My steps feel as heavy as my heart.
I slip my hand in my pocket, double-checking my passport and ticket are together. I collect my bag and head through the bustling terminal to my gate.
Heathrow Airport is chaotic, teeming with travelers.
An announcement echoes through the departure lounge. “Final boarding call for British Airways flight two-seven-eight to New York, gate thirty-three.”
