My thoughts tear through me, transforming the hurt into something molten.
I’m out of the elevator before the doors are fully open, running through the lobby like my life depends on it. Yes,me, sprinting in heels like some maniac who’s lost her bloody mind. Because I have—I’ve lost it.
“Gemma?” the doorman calls after me.
I don’t stop until Max’s building disappears behind me, until my lungs and muscles burn and the breath I’ve been holding whooshes out of me in a gasp.
I probably look like I’ve just escaped a psychiatric facility, but I couldn’t care less. All I can think about is seeing them together.
Oh God. Here we go. More tears. Excellent.
This is exactly what I get for letting myself hope.
It’s not until I make it home, kick off my shoes, and climb into bed fully clothed that I let myself fall apart.
Chapter Sixty-Six
Max
“LEAVE!” I shout at Casey, the words exploding from me as I tear open the fire escape door. My feet are already moving before I can comprehend what I’m doing.
I take the stairs three at a time as I race the lift.
The metal railing screams as I grip it, swinging myself down the next flight.
Twelve sodding floors between me and any chance of explaining this nightmare to Gemma.
My phone buzzes against my thigh but I ignore it, praying I’m not too late.
By the time I crash through the stairwell door into the lobby, my chest is on fire. Jim, the doorman, is already standing with the main door held wide.
“She went left, Mr. Browne.”
I nod without slowing down and barrel past him onto the sidewalk and into the night.
I’m not wearing any bloody shoes, the pavement is ripping at the soles of my feet andburning,but I don’t stop.
My eyes scan every face I pass. None of them are her.
By the time I reach South Kensington, I stop, doubled over and gasping for air as reality washes over me.
Even if I could find her, even if I showed up at her flat pounding on her door like last time, it won’t work. Not after what she saw.
She was giving me a chance, and it’s completely destroyed now.
I straighten up slowly, my hands on my hips as I stare down the empty street.
She’s gone.
And this time, I don’t think she’s coming back.
Chapter Sixty-Seven
Gemma
Bang, bang, bang.
The knocks at the door wake me. I groan, pushing the duvet back and climbing out of bed. I didn’t sleep a wink. Instead, I sat in bed propped against my headboard with a tub of cookie dough ice cream and ate my feelings until I got brain freeze, then ate some more.
