I nod slowly.
“Are you afraid because that person might be Max?”
A sob escapes me. She moves in closer, twining her arms around me. “I can’t. Anna—”
Her palm draws circles over my back. “Anna will understand. I won’t push you. I won’t say anything to her either. Just promise me you’ll tell her if, or when, the time comes that you need to.”
I pull back, sniffling. “I promise.”
She squeezes my biceps. “Good. Now…” She wiggles in her seat, leaning over to pluck my laptop off the table. “Let’s have a look at these butt plugs.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Gemma
“I met a young lad yesterday. It’s funny, he ordered a large latte and an apricot Danish,” Lance says, a wry grin stretching wide over his face. “He wouldn’t happen to be your bloke, would he?”
He plucks my Danish out of the display cabinet with tongs, popping it into a paper bag and rolling it closed before handing it to me.
I scoff. “He’s not young, and he’s not my bloke,” I say, taking a long sip of coffee. I hum as the warm liquid slides down my throat, thawing my chilled bones.
“If he’s younger than fifty, that’s a young lad in my books,” he laughs. “You’re blushing, lass.”
“You know what? You’re getting cheekier by the day, and I don’t know how I feel about it,” I tease, tapping my phone against the machine to pay.
“The closer I get to death, the less I care about manners,” he says, winking. “He’s a handsome young man, that one.” He folds his arms over his chest.
“Great. Why don’t you date him then?” I retort. “You could rob him blind with your outrageous prices and retire to the Scottish Highlands.”
“He’s a wee young for me.” He shrugs. “But he’s definitely had an effect on you, judging by the way you’re strangling that paper bag.”
I look down to find that I’m white-knuckling my breakfast.
“I’m just hungry,” I mutter.
“Aye, for Mister Tall Dark and Handsome?” Lance wiggles his bushy eyebrows suggestively.
“Oh, piss off. I’m finding a new coffee place,” I announce, turning to leave.
“No, you won’t,” Lance calls after me. “No one else will put up with your bullshite!”
I flip him off over my shoulder without looking back, but we both know he’s right.
And we both know I’ll be back first thing tomorrow morning.
When I arrive at the office, I zero in on the kitchenette in search of a biscuit. As usual, I polished off my Danish at a record pace.
My conversation with April replays in my head and I attempt to drown it out with thoughts of shortbread and Hobnobs.
April and Anna have always known about my relationship with Todd and why we broke up, but I’ve never opened up to April the same way she bravely laid herself bare after breaking up with Lucas and falling for James. It’s a conversation I’ve always sidestepped like a puddle, because I know what I’m avoiding. I just never wanted to admit it to myself.
It’s always been easier to bury my demons rather than tackle them head-on, especially when the man who’s caused my feelings to surface isn’t here long term. The next few weeks is all we have. So, as relieved as I am to lighten the burdenand have April validate my feelings without judgment, I’m still hesitant to let Max in. Because at the end of the day, he goes back to his ritzy, glamorous life, and I’ll rarely get the chance to see him again.
The last thing I ever expected was to feel anything other than arousal for Max. And it’s time I admit that I do.
I know we’re a crash waiting to happen, but it feels so damn good, I want to take that risk.
Only question is, will those few weeks of cracking open my heart be worth the inevitable fall when he leaves?
