Me:It was really nice opening up to you, so thank you for listening. And you don’t need to apologise for leaving—I understand.
I put my phone down and continue sipping my coffee as Gemma fills us in on the unfortunate end to her evening. Just when I think I won’t hear a reply from James, my phone chimes.
James:To clarify, I didn’t want to leave.
My expression must be readable because Anna immediately notices. “What is it?” she asks, leaning closer.
I glance at her, a mix of emotions swirling inside me. “He said he didn’t want to leave.”
Gemma’s eyes widen. “What?”
My face wrinkles, unsure of how to interpret his words.
“You’re smiling!” Anna points at me excitedly, and I quickly change my expression to feign indifference, my cheeks searing.
Anna gently places her hand over mine. “Hey, if he makes you smile, that’s a good thing.”
But the moment those words leave her lips, my smile falters. “But Lucas …” I trail off, unsure of how to finish.
Gemma and Anna share a look before Anna reaches over, rubbing a soothing circle over my shoulder. “You have to let him go, honey. He let you go—it’s time you do the same,” she says, her voice soft and filled with a tenderness she rarely uses. “Some things aren’t meant to be. You can’t keep holding on to someone who isn’t holding on to you.”
Her words feel thick, but they’re true. Hearing her say it somehow makes it easier to accept, simply because it’s a truth I didn’t have to say aloud myself.
She scoots forward, encasing me in a hug. “Don’t let thoughts of Lucas or his feelings dictate your actions. Let yourself enjoy this,” she says, nodding at my phone encouragingly.
I consider her advice. “I don’t know what to say to him,” I admit.
“You don’t have to say anything. At least find some comfort knowing there’s no need to feel embarrassed because James clearly cares about you too,” Anna reassures me.
“Yeah,” I reply. “You’re right.”
As the conversation shifts back to Gemma’s story from last night, my mind remains preoccupied, replaying James’s message. I roll my lips inward to hide the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.
The words repeat in my head.
What did he mean by that?
Would he have kissed me?
Did hewantto kiss me?
Because I can’t deny that I certainly wanted him to.
I push the phone away, deciding to leave it at that.
Chapter 21
April
Two months later …
As I walk through Kensington Gardens, I take in the breathtaking sight. The late-summer air is fragrant, filled with the sweet scent of roses and freshly cut grass. Flowerbeds dot the manicured lawns in bursts of oranges, yellow, and purple, their petals catching in the breeze.
The sun filters through the lush greenery of the trees and shrubs, forming speckled shadows on the ground. The gardens come to life with the sound of birds chirping their morning songs as dogs bounce around their owners, chasing each other and fetching balls. Swans and ducks glide across the waters of the Round Pond while children laugh and play, stopping to point and watch the animals with animated smiles.
I tilt my head up, letting the warmth of the sun heat my skin. Walking amongst the rich colours makes Wednesday mornings before work far more tolerable. Nothing worse than setting out on the tube while it’s dreary and drizzling.
It’s been months since I’ve had the strength to return to my favourite café, the Daily Grind, fearing it would bring back painful memories of Lucas. It’s where we met. I would come here every Wednesday morning for a coffee and almond croissant before work. One morning, the barista mixed up our coffeeorder, and when Lucas handed me my drink, he smiled in a way that could only be described as indecently charming. He had that whole movie-star thing going on. The moment I looked at him, I was a goner. I hadn’t noticed him there before, but after that, he would turn up every Wednesday morning until I gathered the confidence to ask him to join me at my usual table.
