I squeeze my eyes shut, as the past twenty-four hours haunt me. I keep seeing us together, his arms wrapped around me, and it makes me sick.
Were those moments real? Or was I just another woman to him?
After a long moment of silence, I summon what courage I can, rising from the seat and gathering my things.
It’s time.
I have to end it.
It’s time to break up with my fiancé.
Chapter 9
April
Icross the threshold to find Lucas slumped on the couch, gripping his hair tightly. The soft click of the door sounds through the quiet room, startling him. His head snaps up, his eyes meeting mine. I drop my bag and kick off my shoes.
“Hey,” he grits out.
“Hey,” I whisper.
Frozen by the doorway, I watch him carefully.
“I just boiled the kettle. Would you like a tea?” he offers.
“No, thanks.”
He nods sharply. Silence stretches between us until he rubs the back of his neck, exhaling in defeat.
“Are you just going to stand there?” he asks impatiently, snapping me out of my trance.
His words prompt me to move, so I walk over to the sofa and sink into the seat furthest away from him. His short hair is dishevelled, he fidgets with the material of his tracksuit pants, and his eyes are bloodshot. Faint stubble peppers his face, looking so unlike the clean, put-together Lucas I’m used to.
My eyes fall to my hands resting in my lap, and I pick at my nails uncomfortably.
“Please say something, baby.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He nods in response, releasing a long breath before speaking. “I don’t fully understand what happened. But I feel I should at least clarify a few things.”
I raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.
He shifts in his seat, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his eyes fixed on the floor as he continues. “I know I’ve been distant lately, and I’m sorry for that. It’s not about you—it’s me. I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff, and I haven’t handled it well. I felt like my depression was returning, and I shut down, and I know it’s hurt you.”
I stay silent, unsure of what to say.
He continues, his voice strained with emotion. “I thought I could work through it on my own, but I was wrong. I should have leaned on you more, should have let you in. But I couldn’t. And I see now how much that hurt you.”
I temper the anger that’s now bubbling, trying to keep my composure.
“This isn’t about being distant, Lucas. Your personal issues, which I’m surprised I’m only hearing about now, have nothing to do with that Instagram account and those women. That’s a separate issue. You told me there were problems at work, youliedto me. What you’ve done ischeating.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“It’s exactly what I think. I saw it, Lucas. I read the messages, I heard the voice notes. I …” I trail off, a lump forming in my throat. “I saw the photos.” My voice cracks as I continue, “Were they your way of sorting through your personal issues?”
His eyes glaze over as he desperately searches my face, but I continue. “I trusted you. I’ve never lied. I’ve sharedeverythingwith you.” Tears stream down my cheeks, and my chest heaves as I begin to cry.
