“Thanks.” The waiter delivers my pastry and cappuccino, which I waste no time tucking into. The bell above the café door jingles again, followed by a ripple of gasps from fellow patrons. I glance over my shoulder and my jaw practically hits the floor. Anna scoffs, choking on her hot chocolate between coughs. Gemma strides in like she owns the place, rocking thigh-highpatent black boots, a navy-blue pleated skirt, and a barely there lace bodysuit with a mesh top held together by a few thin strings. It’s eight a.m.
Her make-up is rubbed off and her blond hair brushes her shoulders in tousled waves, with that unmistakable “freshly fucked” look.
I usher a waiter over, ordering an apricot Danish for Gemma as she takes a seat.
Anna cocks a brow. “Whose hole have you just emerged from?”
“Ugh,” she groans, pulling her seat forward. “You guys, I had the worst date.”
“Did you come straight from his?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Why did you stay over if the date was so terrible?”
“He has a cat.”
“Point taken.”
“Enlighten us,” Anna says, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.
“So, I met this guy called Richard.” Anna and I glance at each other, trying hard to contain our laughter. Gemma rolls her eyes before continuing. “Anyway, we went for dinner at a pizza bar—fine, great. He turns up and he’s shorter than me. He told me he was six foot!” Gemma stands at an easy five five, five six at most.
“Tell me more about this tiny Dick,” Anna says, gesturing for her to continue.
“So, the chat was fine, whatever. Food was decent. But then the bill comes, and he actually has the nerve to suggest we split it.”
“The audacity!” Anna says, shaking her head, and I smother a laugh.
“Right? Anyway, I agree to go halves, and he invites me back to his place. Apparently, he has a cat. And I think,screw it, I’ve come this far.”
“Naturally,” I say.
“So, we get to his flat. Then he starts making out with me, leads me to his bedroom, and—with no warning—shoves his fat, filthy sausage fingers into my mouth. His hand tasted like cottage cheese.”
Well, that’s fucking revolting.
“—and he’s got the smallest penis. I think it’s a micro. I’d never seen one in the flesh until now. Thank God he was done in two pumps, and then he just rolled over and fell asleep. He was still passed out when I snuck away this morning.” She shivers, traumatised.
Anna scrunches her nose. “Jesus Christ.”
“I know,” Gemma says.
“I was referring to the micro penis. I can’t believe you haven’t come across one till now. You churn through dicks like an Amish with butter,” Anna says.
Gemma shrugs, casually picking up her Danish and taking a big bite.
I’ve kept the news about Lucas discovering James and I to myself, deciding it’s best to tell the girls in person rather than over the phone, and now’s the time. Deciding there’s no way to ease into the conversation, I blurt it out, sparing no details.
“Damn right, girl!” Anna says when I finish, holding up her hand for a high five.
I laugh, clapping her hand before my expression shifts. “There’s something else …” I hesitate, feeling a twinge of uncertainty about sharing the next part. “Please don’t repeat this to anyone,” I say, looking between them.
Anna and Gemma exchange a quick glance, then turn back to me, both nodding. “Of course,” they reply.
I exhale slowly. “I found out Lucas was shagging James’s ex while they were still together. For months.”
Their expressions morph into a mixture of horror and pure outrage. Anna brings her hand to her mouth, eyes wide with disbelief. “That prick!” she hisses. “To his own brother?”
