Smoothing down her skirts, Amanda nodded. She could do this.
Julius’s brow knotted together. “What …?” His forehead cleared. “You don’t have to go up there. After what you’ve been through tonight, no one could expect it.”
“I want to.” Amanda pulled her sleeve over her bandage and scraped at the dried blood on her skin with her nail.Wantmight be a step too far. But it was something she felt she needed to do. For herself. For Mrs. Fry. And for the thousands of people out there who screamed and shouted over the injustice in the world but had nobody to hear them.
Julius tidied her hair, pinning loose strands back into her bun. He brushed dirt from her gown. “I’ll be in the front row. If you need anything, or just a friendly face to look at, I’ll be there.”
“I know.” Amanda squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. Pulling open the door, she stepped into the meeting room and headed for the stage. She could feel Julius behind her, and it was enough.
Mrs. Fry saw her coming and her eyes lit up. She waved for Amanda to climb the steps. “Gentlemen, I have a friend here who can tell you her own experiences with the English penal system. A first-hand account of how we, as a nation, allow the mistreatment of the young and innocent. Please welcome Miss Amanda Wilcox.”
A flood of cheers and boos crashed into Amanda. Heart in her throat, her gaze fled to Julius. The steady look in his eyes soothed her and her pulse rate evened out. She could do this.
With her head held high, Amanda climbed onto the stage and faced her fears.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Julius blotted her wet hair with a towel, squeezing out the drops of water from her bath. They sat on the thick carpet of Julius’s room, before the fireplace. Amanda had never felt so pampered and relaxed in her life.
And after the stresses of the evening, she felt like she deserved it. That was the second time in her life when she’d been minutes away from death. The knowledge caused her insides to clench and twist. But facing death had a way of wiping your mind of irrelevancies, leaving only what was truly important.
She leaned against Julius’s chest, his skin warm against her bare back. She sat in the vee of his legs and idly ran her fingers up and down his thigh.
Her speech hadn’t gone as she’d anticipated. Although still receiving her share of boos, the evening had turned more into a question and answer session with the club’s members, not the lecture she’d planned. The men had been curious about her experiences, and seemed genuinely shocked by the conditions she’d revealed. Mrs. Fry had an idea for a series of speaking engagements with the two of them, but Amanda hadn’t decided. Although she’d confronted her fear, she didn’t know if it was something she’d want to do on a weekly basis. Besides, she wanted her nights to belong to Julius.
He shook her hair out before the fire, combing his fingers through the locks. Reggie rolled over, bumping her foot, and fell back asleep. Amanda understood why the dog offered up his belly so quickly. It really was a lovely feeling to be petted so.
“I’m going to miss Reggie after we’re married.” She scratched his furry leg with her toe.
“Oh, he’s coming with us.” Julius brought the towel to her stomach and slowly dried it. “He’s more ours than Marcus’s and your sister’s now, anyway. I’ll dognap him if I have to.”
Amanda laughed. “He’ll be my perfect wedding gift.” She held up her hand. The sapphire in the ring Julius had given her looked as dark as the sky right after the sun set. She still couldn’t believe she was betrothed.
After the club, Julius had taken her and Lady Mary home and left immediately to talk with Liverpool. After his meeting, Julius had stopped at his own townhouse to retrieve his mother’s ring from his safe. He’d wasted no time sliding it on her finger when he’d returned.
Sleep tugged at her eyelids, but Amanda didn’t want the night to end. “What will happen with your investigation? With Hanford?”
“Hanford will be joining Madame Sable in a safe house until the time Liverpool deems it acceptable to try them. He can’t let it be known they’re under arrest until we clean up the rest of the crime ring.” Julius swiped the soft terry cloth across one breast, then the other.
Amanda was quite dry, but she didn’t feel the need to point that out. She arched her back into the caress. “And will you find everyone involved.”
“Nearly.” Dropping a row of kisses down her neck, Julius squeezed her breast through the cloth. “It may take Liverpool and his men awhile to analyze all the information we found, to go through all the business filings, but he’ll find the center of the web eventually. Now”—he trailed the towel down her stomach and lower—“the time to talk business is over. I won’t be able to bind your hands until you heal, but I can do a lot with just your lower body.”
She believed him. Letting her knees drop open, she rocked into his hand. The terry cloth scraped and soothed. Made her wet and then dried her up. She clasped the back of his neck. “I understand now. Why I love being tied up by you.”
Julius tossed the towel to the side and slid his fingers between her lower lips. He dipped the tip of his index finger into her opening before drawing back and gliding it over her seam. “Why?”
She dug her nails into his skin and willed him to increase the pressure. The feather-light touches drove her mad and offered no relief. But she knew he had his reasons, and that she would benefit from his patience.
“By letting you bind me, I was giving you responsibility over my body. My welfare.” Turning her head, she nipped at his stubbled jaw. “I was so tired of looking after myself, after Liz, and I hadn’t done a very good job of taking care of us.”
Amanda felt the rumble in his chest and cut him off before he could argue. “That’s in the past.” She rubbed his hard thigh and blinked back the sudden rush of tears. It was true. She could box up that part of her life and put it away forever. “But I could only enjoy making myself helpless because it wasyoutying the knots. I trust you. And letting you bind my body connected me to you in a way I never thought possible.”
His fingers stilled. “I’ll never betray that trust.”
That vow meant more to her than the ones he’d say on their wedding day. The back of her throat burned. But this wasn’t the time for mawkish sentiment. She and Julius were entangled naked before the fire, and her emotions could be channeled to a much better use.
She rolled to her knees and faced him. Brushing the back of her fingers up his inner thigh, she lowered her head and took his mouth. He groaned when she wrapped her fist around his length, and Amanda swallowed the sound.
