“And Lady Mary? She’s to join us in such an improper situation?” Amanda wrapped her arms around her body. “We are already skirting the appearance of respectability by you being placed here as my and Lady Mary’s protector. A move to your house would lose even that vestige.”
“Blast.” He scrubbed a hand across his jaw. “Just as well. Marcus would have my hide if I secreted you away. Although he won’t be too pleased with the situation here, either.”
Amanda stood next to him, her night rail brushing against his thigh. Her fingers itched to tuck the errant lock of hair out of his eyes and smooth the wrinkles from his brow. But something about such an intimate gesture made her shy. She’d opened her body to him. She was being silly. Still, she couldn’t make her hand stretch forward. A world of meaning would be in that simple caress. It would tell Julius more than she wanted him to know.
“I won’t tell Liz about us, not if it will endanger your friendship with Marcus.” Amanda clasped her hands together. “If you don’t tell Marcus, he’ll never have to know.” Which meant their intimacies would have to end upon her sister’s and her new husband’s return. There would be no sneaking around. Julius wouldn’t be climbing through her window at night.
He’d most likely feel their affair had come to its natural conclusion, anyway. That Amanda’s fear of being touched had been overcome. That his job was done.
Putting his hands on her hips, he guided her into a straddle across his thighs. “I’ll not go out of my way to declare our relationship, but I won’t lie to my friend, either. Marcus has a sharp eye. I don’t think he’ll miss the changes between us.” He trailed his fingers across her collarbone and tugged at the tie at her neck. Her night dress loosened and slipped off one shoulder.
Amanda licked her bottom lip. “I don’t want to get between you and your friend. Perhaps”—she shuddered under his open-mouthed kiss on her bare skin—“perhaps we should end this now.”
It would destroy her if he agreed. But his friendship with Marcus was for life. Their affair would end regardless.
“Don’t be an idiot.” He slid the other side of her night rail off her other shoulder, his fingers scraping her flesh. The thin cotton pooled at her elbows and waist. He urged her pelvis closer to his. “This isn’t ending before it has to.” With the flat of his tongue, he swiped across her nipple. Pulling back, he blew a stream of air across her damp skin. Both her nipples hardened to aching peaks.
She started to pull her arms from the sleeves, but Julius stopped her. “Wait,” he said. Taking the loose ends of the sleeves, he began tying the ends, pulling the fabric tight and pinning her arms.
“Stop.” Her heart warmed at how quickly Julius released her sleeves, the concern in his eyes, even as her arms mourned the loss of their bonds. But her time with him was finite. And she’d entered this arrangement wanting to stretch her limits, needing to explore her sensuality. As much as she adored being restrained, there had to be more.
“Are you all right?” A crease formed in the skin above his nose. “Did it bring back a bad memory?”
“Not at all.”
“You no longer like being restrained?” Julius asked, his voice a monotone.
“Don’t be an idiot.” She threw his words back at him with a smile. Shrugging out of the sleeves, she placed a palm over his heart, felt the rise and fall of his chest. He cupped her breast in a mirror action, and she arched into him. “I adore it. When you tie me up, it’s the only time I feel truly safe.”
“You are safe,” he said gruffly. “Then why—”
“Because sometimes I want to touch you, too.” She unbuttoned his waistcoat, taking her time to caress the ridges of his stomach through each inch of shirt she revealed. She slid the cravat off his neck, frowning at the wet fabric, and tossed it to dry before the fire. “Tupping can’t only be about having things done to me. Can it?” she asked, furrowing her brow.
“It can.” Julius gathered her hair together and draped it over a shoulder so it covered one breast. “But I understand what you’re saying. You want to participate more actively.”
Lowering her head, she kissed the bronze vee of skin exposed at his collar. “Not all the time. But tonight, yes.” She tugged at his shirt, pulling it free from his trousers, and brushed the back of her fingers across his bare stomach. The muscles tensed beneath her touch. “Is that all right?”
Julius leaned forward and shucked his coat and waistcoat in record time. Grabbing the neck of his shirt, he yanked it over his head and tossed it to the floor. “More than all right. I want you to explore. As long as you’re not planning on tying me up, I’m game for anything.”
Amanda cocked her head. She glanced at her four-poster bed. She could picture Julius, one limb tied to each post, his body straining against his bonds, her hands roaming his unprotected flesh.
She wriggled against his thighs. She liked that picture. Very much.
Julius narrowed his eyes. “Never going to happen.”
Her body cooled, and she dropped her head. That was his worst nightmare and she was fantasizing about it.
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed close. “Of course not. I just want to touch.”
The heat from his bare chest warmed her front. The light dusting of his hair tickled her breasts. Burying her nose at the crook of his neck, she inhaled his bergamot scent.
He smelled like home.
It would be so much easier to let Julius take control. Easier, but she’d feel like she’d missed out on an experience. Sitting up, Amanda glided her hands along his shoulders. She found the notch where his collar bone ended at his arm and circled her thumbs into the flesh.
Julius grimaced.
Amanda jerked back. “Are you injured? Did I hurt you?”
