That’s a pace I can get fully on board with. I think I have my first boyfriend. Thirty-seven is starting to look pretty good.
CHAPTER 19
Remy
I picture Jamie trying to peel a homemade face mask off his face, listening to him curse as it plucks out stubble and eyebrow hairs. I guess he won’t be leaving glue lying around his house after this. How cute would Chris look with green paste smeared all over his face and cucumber slices on his eyes, though? Honestly, we should do a facial night sometime. I’ll try anything that helps him relax better and keep his mind off his pain.
“Are you even listening to me?” Jamie’s impatient tone comes over the line.
Crawling into bed alone, I turn out my bedside lamp. It’s Monday. That means an entire week of falling asleep alone, I gather, since Chris and I just did the sleepover thing on the weekend again. I don’t want to look too clingy, being that he only mentioned ‘boyfriend’ the other day.
“Hello?” Jamie calls.
Shit. What was he saying? I don’t think I can listen to him grumbling about his nephews’ latest shenanigans for much longer. I can think of one thing that might distract him long enough to put him out of his misery.
“Chris and I are dating,” I throw out casually.
“Oh my God. Youdidhave sex with him. I knew it!”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I didn’t.”
“I smell lies.”
“You smell glue, and it’s gone to your head.”
He snorts and makes another wincing sound. “Probably. Well, that’s…weird, and don’t even get me started on dating, but at least I’m not the only one not getting any.”
Before he can go any more ‘Jamie’ on me, I think another change in subject is in order. “Why don’t you come visit for Christmas, unless you have a mani-pedi day planned with your nephews?”
“Ha-fucking-ha.”
Snickering, I nestle deeper under my covers. “My parents are going to a ski resort, but I’ve grown so acclimated to snowless winters, I think I’m going to pass on joining them. You could come hang with me and,”—plucking at my blanket, a smile creeps over my face even as it feels strange to imagine—“we could have dinner here with Chris one night while you’re in town.”
“Well, as much as I’d love to be the third wheel to you and the mountain with a penis, I can’t. I have a girlfriend, and she wants me all to herself for the holidays.”
“What?” I laugh because there has to be some dry Jamie joke in there somewhere. I’d sooner believe he fell in love with cats than that he was suddenly bisexual.
“Yup. Your bachelor bestie is officially taken. Janessa is now the proud, happy owner of all this sex appeal.”
And there’s the joke. I snort, wondering why he wasted thirty seconds of my life on that BS story. But hey, at least he’s not bitching about Chris.
“Uh, I’ve met Janessa. She can absolutely live without you, and so can all the heterosexual men she dates.”
He proceeds to tell me about how he’s going to pretend to be her boyfriend for her family’s Christmas up in Montana. Ironically, he sounds excited about the prospect because it will mean he won’t have to watch his house get destroyed by his nephews while they’re on their holiday break from school.
“Let me get this straight…”
“Exactly,” he quips.
“Youcan have afakegirlfriend that you don’t have sex with, but I can’t have a real boyfriend I don’t have sex with?”
“I didn’t say can’t. You are a free agent to tangle whatever intricate web you want to weave. I’m not saying a word this time. I’m prepping for vacation mode to recharge and leaving all bad juju behind me. Cowboy country and peace of mind, here I come.”
Wow, that’s a first. “Well, good luck with that.”
He knows it gets really cold there, right? A hundred bucks says Janessa finds him frozen like a popsicle on day one.
“Thank you for the enthusiasm. Good luck to you, too.”
