His hand fists the base of my cock, tightening the pressure that’s built inside of me. Lips stretched and shiny with his slobber, he makes another tight draw with his mouth in time with the movement of his hand. I’m done for, and I try to warn him by tugging on his hair. He stays put, picking up the pace with determination. That alone is so fucking sexy, I have to fightto keep my eyes open to watch as I come. He makes little moans and half-growls, feeding on all the pent-up tension that drains from my body down his throat. It’s nothing short of devouring.
He pulls off and presses a few kisses to my waning cock while I twitch and reach for him mindlessly, willing my pulse to get under control.
“Come here,” I beg.
His puffy mouth is a hundred percent more kissable than before, but I manage to roll into him enough that he flops onto his back beside me. Moving to his neck, I press a quick kiss there, too eager to hear him moaning from my mouth around him for the first time in years to linger any longer.
“That was definitely one way to make me feel not awkward about falling asleep in your bed.”
He chuckles and rubs my shoulders. My waistband is still down around my knees, so I tug it up to let me move and then proceed to scoot further down the bed. I reach for his fly, eager to pick up where I left off. My fingers graze over the denim. Feeling the outline of his cock, I can tell he’s not even half hard. Did he not enjoy giving? Because it really seemed like he did.
His hand clasps around my wrist, gently drawing it away. I look up at him, confusion probably written all over my face. He tugs me back up to him and kisses me, soft and slow, spreading more of that satiated warmth I’m still living on through me. When he draws back, still holding my wrist like he’s afraid to release it, though, he must see the uncertainty in my eyes. I don’t understand the guilt on his face.
“It, uh, doesn’t always work, especially when I’m in pain.” He releases my wrist and rubs my arm soothingly. “Sorry.”
Oh, shit. Shit. I hadn’t even considered that. I deal with nerve damage all day at work, and yet I let the heat of the moment lead me off a cliff of anticipation. Shifting, I lie down next to him,wishing the stroke of my hand against his cheek could wipe away the shame he’s trying to hold back.
“Why are you sorry?”
“Yeah, I guess you got out of a blow job. So, nothing to be sorry for,” he jokes.
“I wasn’t going to just to reciprocate. I was looking forward to it, but don’t think I mind. And just for the record, please don’t think you need to do that if you don’t like it.”
“Hey, my mouth has lots of plans for that cock,” he assures me, cupping my face and giving me a kiss. “It still turns me on to touch you, even if my dick doesn’t show it all the time.”
“Well, you certainly showed it.”
“I am sorry, though.” His thumb traces the edge of my chin where he fixes his gaze. “I should have warned you. About my problem.”
I hate that he might be avoiding looking at me, so I dip my head. “Chris, I just forgot my own name. Please stop apologizing.”
He searches my eyes, looking so vulnerable it breaks something in my heart, but then he smirks. “Well, you seemed to remember mine, so I guess I can live with that.”
And there’s the other side of Chris that’s had my soul signing itself over to him recently. I press my lips to his, holding them there. It’s a thank you to life and to him for giving us this second chance. He smiles at me so tenderly that I want to call off work and lie here with him all day. However, I imagine bringing over a controlled substance, stripping down to my underwear, and falling asleep in his bed were enough for one day.
Sighing, I lay my head on his chest, wanting to laugh at myself. He watched The Vampire Diaries with me. I may have missed a few things in the past twelve hours, but not that. My soul seals an envelope and silently delivers itself to him in companionable silence. Smiling, I trace circles above his nipple.
“So, I noticed I lost my pants… Fucking gummy bears, huh?”
The laugh that rumbles underneath my ear tells me that I’ve recalled all I really need to know about the evening. Chris is happy. I’m happy, and we’re happy together.
CHAPTER 18
Chris
The sky is clear, and the temperature has cooled to a comfortable sixty degrees as we stretch in Remy’s front yard. It’s been nearly a week since Thanksgiving break ended, and it’s hands down the best week I’ve had in years. Remy and I spent each afternoon exercising, cooking dinner, and then either making out or cuddling on each other’s couches, talking and laughing late into the evening.
Today, we graduated from his backyard because he says he enjoys looking at his new walk up. Me, I just enjoy looking at him. And listening. Each day he talks about his time at the center, I’m left with a sense of solidarity with his patients. I’ve learned plenty about experiencing setbacks and having to accept a new normal. A billow of empathy rolls through me when he laments about their frustrations. Yet, I’m likewise filled with gratitude knowing that Remy is the one there to help them. I’ve noticed he often downplays himself. It makes me think he has no clue how compassionate he is. You can see it in his expression when he talks about what the patients are going through and his genuine hope to get them back to full functionality. He’s an inspiration, even if he doesn’t see it. When you’re around someone inspiring, it must make you want to try harder.
“So…there’s this thing the college asked me to come speak at before Christmas break,” I hedge when it looks like he doesn’t have more to say.
“What kind of thing?”
“Do you remember those safety briefings they used to do before we all went on Spring or Christmas break?”
“Yeah.” He laughs. “Jamie always complained that I made him come with me when I had a professor who was giving extra credit points for attendance at them.”
“Well, I only went to one during freshman year, which means it was probably stupid of me to agree to do it.” His nose scrunches up adorably as he shields his eyes from the sun. “They asked me to talk about my‘struggles.’Basically, I got the impression they were hoping I’d be an example of why driving while intoxicated is a bad idea.”
