And that reality meant for the first time, Kaelee was thinking about her dreams beyond degrees and publishing.
What else do I want?
The answer filled her mind instantly.I want love. I want someone who has my back, who is at my side.That was what Toni had said about her friends, but Kaelee wanted that plus the sizzling sex she had with Greta.I want it all.
And I think I want it with Greta.
33Kaelee
CHRISTMAS
Two days later, Kaelee was still at Greta’s apartment. An oversized, potted tree that would be picked up and planted somewhere after the holiday filled the room with the scent of Christmas, and the entire apartment looked like a Christmas movie had popped into it. Delicate ornaments and candles, fresh boughs of pine and several poinsettia plants, the scents of whatever deliciousness Greta had cooked while Kaelee had been reading or napping. Everything was holiday-movie perfection.
And instead of panicking, Kaelee felt settled in and warm. She didn’t remember the last time she had felt so at home. Tonight, she’d had one glass of wine with dinner, and then Greta brought out a fruit tart and a bowl of whipped cream. “I know you said no more baked goods, but I swear I made this one for myself. Sometimes when I’m anxious I bake.”
“Why were you anxious?” Kaelee sat in the chair beside Greta, not across the table, but beside her. Maybe it was a cop-out, but she couldn’t sit across from her and delve into the way that made her feel. “And it’s not that the baking is in any way unappealing, but I need to find a local gym if I’m going to eat so much sugar. I feel sluggish if I eat these and don’t work out.”
Still silent, Greta was in the chair on the opposite end of the tablefrom the seat Kaelee had sat in when she’d had Greta spread out like a dessert on this same table. She was uncommonly quiet tonight.
“Is this about the lawyer meeting?”
“No… but you know my ex is one of the lawyers consulting on the case, right?” Greta said. “You heard when I said that the first two times? She’s part of the team—”
“Are you fucking her?”
“No!”
“Have you since we met?”
“No. Not at all, not even tempted!”
“Then I don’t care,” Kaelee said bluntly.
“Oh.”
“Greta. Look at me.”
“What?” Greta looked up from the tart she had neatly sliced, took a deep breath, and started rambling: “This is triple berry. They aren’t in season right now, but—”
“Why were you anxious?”
Greta dropped the pie spatula on the table with a clatter. “I need to confess. I havefeelingsfor you.”
“Yeah?” Kaelee wasn’t sure she could say it yet, but she shared those feelings. “Were you not sure about telling me?”
Some people are just too fucked up to love. Just because I love—Kaelee ran her finger across the bowl of whipped cream and raised it to her lips. Greta stared at her the whole time.
“I feel it, too,” Kaelee admitted.
“You don’t need to say it,” Greta said quickly.
“I know. I’m not. Not right now.”
Greta looked sad at that. For a moment, Kaelee felt like the world had paused, like she’d broken something.
“I’ve never said that to anyone,” Kaelee admitted. “Or had a lover say it to me, and since you’re the first woman I’vedated…”
“I won’t say it. I feel it, though.” Greta looked away.
