“I’ve never brought anyone date-ish here. That’s all.” Kaeleestraightened her shoulders, pulling them back resolutely. “I do want you here, but it’s still… a lot to make sense of. I’m planning dates and having you stay with me. I didn’t plan to catch feelings and… it’s just that I might need a minute or weekend or whatever to let my panic pass here and there.”
“Understood.” Greta’s heart felt too full as she followed Kaelee inside the building. “I feel incredibly lucky right now to be welcomed here. Are you good with going inside?”
“If you are… It’s a tiny place. Cramped.” Kaelee started toward the building even as they spoke and carried Greta’s bags up the stairs, toting both bags with ease.
“I’m not here for the apartment,” Greta reminded her, trailing behind her up the narrow steps.
At the door of the apartment, Kaelee used three more keys on a series of locks. Inside, she relocked all of thoseanda fourth one that had no external key. She looked down like she was expecting judgment, but if the extra security on the door made her feel safe, why judge? Some people had alarm systems, video monitoring, handguns, and dogs. Others lived in gated communities. From what Greta had read about Kaelee’s family and what she knew about Kaelee’s assault, Greta couldn’t fault her for having a few extra locks.
“I won’t be going out without you, so I don’t expect to need a key ring. I was hoping either I could edit here, or I could come onto campus and work in a library or coffee shop.” Greta kept her tone mild, hoping it would clarify that she was not judging or reacting in any critical way.
Kaelee flashed her a warm smile. “Ten-cent tour. This is the living, bedroom, dining room, and kitchen.” She pointed to a door. “That’s the bathroom, and behind you is the exit.”
Greta took in the small space as she removed her coat and scarf. Kaelee had constructed a room partition of sorts with three very tall bookshelves that divided a sleeping area. The table was a three-seater,as the fourth side was against the wall. “It’s a bit bigger than my first New York apartment. I had a futon that was also my bed.”
“I have a futon for the living area, but I splurged on the bed when I sold the books.” Kaelee motioned again to the bed. “It’s one of those foam mattresses that enlarges as it is freed from the packaging. I’m not entirely sure how it’ll come out of here when I move. Same with the bookshelves. I brought them in unassembled.”
“I brought you a gift for your shelf.” Greta reached in her shoulder bag, which was still on Kaelee’s shoulder, and pulled out the red-and-silver-wrapped package.
Kaelee took it. “I do like books. Can I open it now? I didn’t get you anything. Christmas is a few weeks away yet.”
“Open it. It’s one of the most riveting books I’ve read this year. I wanted you to have a copy.” Greta leaned down and unzipped her boots, leaving them at the door next to Kaelee.
After Kaelee put their coats on a row of coat hooks, she carried the wrapped book to the futon, sat, and carefully unwrapped each seam. When she reached the book inside, she met Greta’s eyes. “That’s mine. Greta… that’smybook.”
“It is.” Greta watched Kaelee trail her fingertips over the cover. “It’s a phenomenal book. I feel so grateful to have been the editor.” She sat next to Kaelee. “The night you messaged when I said I was reading, that was your book. I had it in my closet when you were in my apartment.”
“If you’d have said the book’s name or the author or anything…” Kaelee shook her head. “I’d have figured it out.”
“And I would have lost that night in New York. I’mgladI didn’t know who you were when we met or when you messaged that weekend,” Greta confessed, staring at her with her heart in her throat. “I’m sorry I hesitated when you asked if letting Ian edit the sequel could mean we…” Her words trailed off. “I wantedmorealready then, and I wasn’t as worried about my career as my heart. You even said no to talking, and I was already interested in more after wetexted and then… I just thought that since you weren’t interested, I could use the book to keep my distance.”
Kaelee took her hand. “Not seeking feelings and ignoring them when they sneak in seem like different things. I wasn’t looking for this either, you know? I’m terrified of how much I already like you.”
“I get that. I have a terrible history with dating,” Greta admitted.
“Well, I have none.” Kaelee pulled Greta closer. “I am not ready to think beyondnow. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m not looking for forever or marriage.” Kaelee stared at her like she was expecting anger. “I want to trydating, but I don’t have long-term goals. Marriage is a trap to control women, typically. I don’t want that for either of us.”
“It’s notalwaysa trap.” Greta snuggled in closer and rested her head against Kaelee’s, so they were forehead to forehead. “I’m not looking for a ring. I just want to be around you and have you naked. Are those things both on offer?”
“For you? Yes.”
“Then we’re fine,” Greta promised. “That’s enough.Youare enough for me.”
Kaelee pulled her into a tender kiss that felt like it was filled with words she wasn’t saying, and Greta melted deeper into her embrace. Knowing the future was uncertain seemed perfectly fine because right now, the present was exactly what Greta wanted. A woman she was falling for had her arms around her, had planned a date for tomorrow, and was kissing her thoroughly.
What else is there?
Kaelee leaned back slightly, her words warm against Greta’s lips, and asked, “What are your opinions on quickies?”
“With you?”
“Yes, with me,” Kaelee said. “If I’m dating, it’s going to be exclusive.”
“Thank God. I wanted to ask, but…”
“Ask for what you need. Always. In bed and out.” Kaelee sounded incredibly serious for a moment. “So many of us are trained not toask for what we need from the world. I don’t want that for us or anyone, really.”
Greta nodded. “I want you to do with me what you will. I’m always interested in sex with you… but what happened to ‘not tonight’?”
