“You’re right. Of course you’re right. Fuck.” Greta took a loud breath, her head tilted back like she was staring at something on the ceiling.
Lies. Everything was lies.
“Fuck.” Kaelee counted her breaths, forcing herself toward a calm that she didn’t feel.
“You’re myauthor.”
“I am aware.” Kaelee folded her arms over her chest. “It certainly creates an awkward thing. I mean, I was liking our power balance the way it was, but you’re in charge of my book’s fate so… I guess that changes things.”
Greta gaped at her like she was unstable. “I can’t ever see you likethatagain, Ms. Carpenter. We will pretend it never happened and—”
“Guess that ‘being friends’ plan was a wash, then,” Kaelee sniped, feeling immeasurably insulted. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but she felt like she was paying a price.
Like I’m losing her.
As much as Kaelee understood the logic in Greta’s words, understood that she had to let this go, letMarieor Greta go, and she couldn’t even argue, it stung to be tossed aside so easily. That was why she didn’t let feelings get involved, why she didn’t let her walls down. People always disappointed her. Greta was no different, apparently.
“Lee…”
“I don’t use that name professionally,Greta.” Kaelee went into a stall, mostly to buy herself a moment to push back the sense of heartbreak that was churning in her stomach. She closed the stall door and took a moment to just think. She had started to let Marie in. She knew better, but she had still done it. Now she needed to pretend that the woman she’s been growing closer to was a different person entirely. She’d finish her meeting and head home. She wasn’t going to have dinner—or sex—with Marie again. What they’d shared was functionally dead with no warning at all.
Don’t be so weak,her insecurities ordered. She had spent a lifetime so far hiding her vulnerable parts, and this was the woman who could influence her career succeeding or failing.She can crush my dream.
When Kaelee walked out and stepped around Greta to wash her hands, she could almost feel Greta staring at her. And unlike last night, this stare didn’t make her feel warm and safe.
How could I have been so stupid?
“Can we talk tonight?” Greta asked quietly. “This was obviously not your fault or mine, but it happened, and now we need a plan.”
“Do I tell Emily?” Kaelee met Greta’s gaze in the mirror.
“I don’t know. If you decide to do that, can it wait until you and I talk?” Greta pressed on her eyelids as if to hold them still or push back pain. “I have no right to ask you that. As your editor I would never ask you to keep book-related things from your agent. I hope you know that. However, this is personal. We need to talk and decide what, if anything, we need to share with her or with the company.”
“You’re still the person I was starting to trust.” Kaelee realized she sounded irritated in a way that did neither of them any favors, so she tried to soften her tone. “All I need to know is if you’re going to cancel my book deal. The ARCs and the announcement are about to go out, and… it’s a good book, right?”
“No! I’m not going to cancel it. Why would I do that?” Greta looked at her like she was speaking in tongues. “I don’t know if I can edit your second book in good conscience. This won’t mean canceling anything, oryoulosing anything. I’ll make sure you are protected. You didnothingwrong.”
“Neither did you.” Kaelee frowned at her. “And you aren’t as observant as you claimed if you think I’m not losing something.”
Greta shook her head. “The priority is protecting you, the book, the house. I’m in a position of power over your career. This could… ruin me. If people found out that I… that we… I’d be done. Maybe I should be.”
“Absolutely not! You had no idea I was your author. I’m not going to lie, and you’re not going to lie. We met as strangers, Greta. That was it. What we do next is the concern. So let’s get back to the meeting. I heard my editor was a real powerhouse, and I want to hear what the marketing plans are,” Kaelee said lightly. She couldn’t stop the urge to look after Greta, who seemed to have the samereaction. “I don’t know how to tell my editor that I’m terrified of a tour, and I really, really would like to stay as reclusive as possible. I’m hoping that will be something my agent can address.”
They stood in the small bathroom a moment.
Then Greta visibly straightened. She pulled her shoulders back and met Kaelee’s eyes. “I feel like something beautiful was just torn out of my reach. I want you to know that. You are an amazing woman, Lee. That could have been more than sex for me. I think it already was becoming… It doesn’t matter now, does it?” She opened the door and in a professional-sounding voice said, “If you want a more leisurely tour of the offices, I’m sure either my assistant, Ian, or any of your team would be happy to show you around and load you up on copies of our upcoming books.”
Kaeleehadto get her control back so she could manage this meeting. Following Greta’s lead to talk about books seemed like a wise plan. “Any luck on getting Toni to sell you a new book yet?”
“She’ll send it when she’s ready.” Greta nodded her head once, as if emphasizing her own declaration. After an extended minute, she said, “Speaking of, how are you progressing on your sequel?”
“Finished it before I sold book one. Revised it.” Kaelee shrugged like it was no big deal. “Emily’s been reading it. I think she’s almost ready to send it to you.”
“Really?” Greta paused mid-step and glanced over at her.
“I had it in my backpack yesterday.” Kaelee shook her head, as if the gesture could stop the flood of images that were roiling in her mind. Her voice came out wobbly as she added, “Sent a partial of anewbook to Emily already, too. Iwantthis career. Toni may still waffle on it, but I have no doubts. I want to write, preferably commercial, popular fiction.”
Greta met her gaze. “I won’t let what happened derail that, Kaelee. I promise.”
