“What if I need another pressure valve release?” Marie sat halfway upright, so the sheet fell lower and exposed her breasts.
“Two nights in a row?” Kaelee shook her head, both in response to the words and the visual temptation. Marie had perfect breasts, pert, generous, and sensitive. Kaelee forced her gaze away from them and said, “I could like you, unfortunately. Next month? In six months? Maybe. Not tomorrow. There are rules, though, I need to follow so I keep things orderly.”
Marie’s laughter trilled out. “I think I’m glad we don’t share a city.”
The fact that Kaelee wasn’t the only one tempted to break her own rules made it urgent that she leave. Now. She finished buttoning her shirt, walked over to the bed, and bent down to kiss the beautiful woman still lounging there. Then she dropped a kiss on each breast.
“I might have rules, but I’m not a saint, Marie.” Kaelee pulled the sheet up to hide the tempting bounty. “Message if you’re in DC again someday.”
Then she left the room as quickly as she could without actually running.
5Kaelee
OCTOBER
A month later, Kaelee’s stress had once again become unbearable. She hadn’t used the app, but she had opened it a few times and browsed. Sometimes the problem with a great one-nighter was the knowledge that the next one simply wouldn’t compare. Extra gym sessions hadn’t been enough to wash away the panic over her meet and greet in New York. So thenextsolution to that anxious ball in her gut was often a good fuck.
Pick someone new,her heart urged.
Message Marie,her impulsivity demanded.
Do something,her libido whispered over and over.
Healthier ways to cope with anxiety did exist. Exercise was her default, but when it wasn’t enough, the alternatives were chemical or sex. And right now, exercise wasn’t fixing her stress at all. Kaelee had to go to New York for her meet and greet with her editor and the team on the following Monday. New York was where Marie lived, and the temptation to send her a message on the app was a burning need the last few days.
Sex with her was amazing. Why not?
The “why not” was the part that was harder to own. Kaelee felt like even though they’d kept conversation minimal, she still was intrigued by Marie. So Kaelee had asked if Toni would tag along—like preplanned cliterference. It was a solid plan; they could hit abar, meet their agent, and Kaelee could resist meeting up with the deliciousness that was Marie. Kaelee wasn’t sure she’d ever craved another person the way she craved Marie. She’d had several sex dreams the likes of which she hadn’t had in her entire life. Sometimes people just clicked, and unfortunately, Kaelee had clicked with Marie.
I’ll keep busy. Meet someone at a bar here.
The night before, Kaelee had spent an hour on the app, looking at profiles and weighing the possibility of connecting with someone new. She had not picked anyone uporreplied to anyone on the app. She couldn’t find anyone who excited her the way Marie had.
Today, though, Kaelee was standing in the doorway of Toni’s office and trying to quell a rising wave of panic. “You can’tbailon me. What if—”
“Nope. Nothing you say will change it.” Toni was at her desk swapping files out of her messenger bag. Toni said, “Sorry. I can’t go up to the city at all. I sent you and Em both a message.”
“It’s only Thursday, Toni.”
“I know.”
“Maybe we could go on Sunday, then? Just for the day.” Kaelee wasn’t the sort to beg, but right now, her voice came out whiney. “Come on, Toni…”
“No. I initially said maybe, not yes. This isn’tbailingon you.” Toni scowled at her, a look that used to be intimidating enough to make Kaelee shut up. Not anymore.
Kaelee glared at her in a way that she couldn’t imagine doing a year prior. “You aren’t even going to come with me for one day? Seriously? You’re… justditchingme?”
“Sorry. Addie was able to get away for a long weekend, and…” Toni looked up from her organized chaos of essays and file folders. “I haven’t seen her in five days. I have priorities that don’t include you or Emily or trains.”
“Ugh. I need friends who aren’t perpetually in a honeymoon stage,” Kaelee grumbled. She pointed at Toni. “I’m going to replaceyou with someone single. I’ll go to a writers’ conference and find a new friend, onewithouta happy relationship.”
“I understand you’re disappointed,” Toni said, not sounding the least bit apologetic. “You’re also overreacting, Kae. It was a loose ‘maybe’ of a plan… is that worth ending our acquaintanceship?”
“Friendship,” Kaelee corrected with a scowl. “Damn you. You’re my friend.”
“I know.” Toni flashed her a grin. “You’re tolerable, too. Which is why you’ll forgive me for switching a ‘maybe’ to a ‘no.’”
Kaelee sighed.
