“Sorry. I started out with Method acting, so I wanted to walk around fake-Addie’s space to get into the mindset before I fly.” Addie looked around the set again before shaking it off. “I guess I got too into character.”
Marcela jabbed something into her phone. “I’ll have security do a sweep just to be sure.” She smiled at Addie. “And you, my dear girl, need to get home. Tomorrow’s your flight, correct?”
“It is.”
“Why don’t you take the new episode’s script to the author, since you’ll see her?” Marcela motioned for Addie to follow her. “I know she’ll frown at a few liberties, but maybe if you read some of your lines, she’ll be more receptive.”
“Sure.” Addie inwardly winced. She didn’t really want to be a go-between, but it would give her some excuse to have a private moment with Toni, and she wanted very much to have Toni away from curious ears when she asked her why she hadn’t called, especially since Addie left her out-of-office up to encourage Toni to reach out for real.
But Toni hadn’t called. She hadn’t even texted. Whatever her reason, Toni had withdrawn almost completely, and Addie was not sure if she wanted to chase after her again.
Or wait.
I was patient for a year. Waiting. Hoping. And for what?
Chapter 24Toni
The next day, Toni was in the Dulles airport headed to Rhode Island. She felt fancier than she did in her day-to-day teacher attire, not that she was dressedthatdifferently. Trousers, blazer, and shirt were her go-tos for most things these days. She wore that for teaching, for events, for interviews. Maybe this was a nicer blazer, one she’d splurged on, and maybe her shoes were some designer brand that made her feel like she was walking on clouds.
It’s just comfort. It’s not as if I’m trying to impress anyone.
Especially Addie.
Toni had been driven to the airport in the usual black town car, and she had that weird feeling she got when she was doing any book events—as if she were living someone else’s life and any moment a stranger would call her out as a fake.
There had been several midweek events lately now thatThe Whitechapel Widowhad hit some sort of nebulous sales plateau that publishers never explicitly shared. In fact, Toni had been sent to another morning television interview in the wee hours midweek.Thathad been a hellish teaching day.
But the entire department knew about her success, especially since Harold had proudly put his autographed copy of her book on the corner of his desk, where everyone saw it. So far none of her students had brought it up, but several of her colleagues hadmentioned reading it. All told, it was not the reaction she’d feared. It was… nice.
Going to book events still felt like Toni was slipping on a mask, though. She had to embrace a new persona: A. M. Darbyshire was aNew York Times–bestselling debut novelist. More approachable than a professor but not too casual. It was a peculiar line to walk.
“Where to?” the TSA officer asked as Toni approached with her identification and ticket.
“Rhode Island.”
“Vacationing?” The question was mere small talk, but Toni simply nodded. Vacation was a lot easier than saying she was headed to an immersion weekend where she’d dress in period costume. Maybe the hatbox might give it away, but she suspected few people realized that it was a hatbox she carried.
She moved through security, which was easier as she hadn’t brought any electronics other than her phone and e-reader. No laptops were allowed at the manor. Technically, no e-readers were either, but there was only so much socializing Toni could manage before she became prickly.
Just in case Addie is no longer interested, I can read,Toni thought.Maybe she didn’t text or call because she met someone.
That thought made Toni want to cancel the whole weekend. Sooner or later Addie would meet someone who was more suitable.Not that they’d deserve her either!Addie was too brave, too insightful, too beautiful to settle for Toni for long, and once the show was out, Toni had no doubt that Addie would be swimming in potential suitors.
Maybe we ought to discuss red flags so she knows what to watch for.Toni paused midthought.Telling her “avoid anyone like me” feels like stabbing myself in the eye, though.Toni was fairly sure she was a walking red flag. She might be financially solvent now, maybe even objectively a “good catch,” but her genetics were a ticking time bomb.One day I’ll be in memory care like Lil.
Not to mention the fact that Toni had exactly zero ideas for continuing her writing career into the future, or that she had no templateof what a healthy relationship ought to look like, or that she had taken a year tostillnot even tell Addie her surname.
Would I have if she hadn’t been at the audition?
Toni was capable of friendship. She could offer that. It made sense, since the thought of someone hurting Addie made Toni as surly as the thought of anyone hurting Emily. That was a side effect of friendship. The added desire to chase away Addie’s potential future suitors was illogical, but surely that was because Toni was hoping to find herself happily tucked away in her most recent happy place—the inviting juncture of Addie’s thighs. Toni was just protective because they were friends.
And because I’m not ready to let go.
She would be. Eventually. One night didn’t erase a year of celibacy, though. Toni wanted a lot more of Addie before Toni surrendered to her own bleak future.
Despite that, Toni had respected Addie’s silence. When Addie hadn’t texted or called or emailed after the flowers, Toni reminded herself that filming had to be exhausting. It wasn’t a rejection. Itcouldn’tbe. But when September turned to October, and there was still only silence, Toni was a little more upset than she wanted to admit.
I won’t need a book to read,Toni promised herself.I’ll be with Addie.
