Emily put a hand on Toni’s shoulder. “Sweetie, it’s your money. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.”
“I just said I was going to save it all, but my old Ford hadsomany miles, and after it broke down last year, I started thinking about it. Then it had transmission issues a few months ago and… it cost less up-front to buy this than fix that and the suspension, and—”
“It’s very you.” Emily opened the passenger door. “Plus, it matches my luggage!”
Toni went around to her side. She ran a hand along the door quickly before opening it and climbing inside. “Fully manual.”
“Says the woman with control issues,” Emily replied, sotto voce.
“Not with Addie,” Toni confessed in the same quiet voice. She finally admitted the truth she’d been struggling with all day. “I could fall for her, Em.”
“Would that be so awful?” Emily asked.
But Toni put the Jeep in gear and headed out of the lot, pointedlynot answering. There were two answers—yes, because Addie deserved someone who wanted a relationship, and yes, because just because it felt amazing to let down her walls for a night didn’t mean it would always be that way.
“Ask me after we visit Lil,” Toni finally said.
The memory care home was outside the city in Reston, but much like in New York, “outside the city” didn’t actually mean light traffic. Toni navigated onto the 28, and then onto I-66 westbound. It was on the late side for visiting, what with the time change from LA to DC, but that only meant that Lil would be in her room.
“She still stays up late, as if he’ll be home.” Toni stared out the window at traffic rather than glance at Emily. She shifted through each gear like the joy of driving the Jeep could help her escape her own panic and anger. “Even after everything, she loves the bastard.”
“Not all relationships are like theirs,” Emily said for what was likely the five hundredth time. “My parents are still stupidly in love.”
Toni slid into a parking spot a few minutes later. The home was close enough to the airport that this was far from the first time she’d made this pit stop. “I warn you: she may not know us. She may think I’m Aunt Patty. She may think we’re friends of his come to warn her about him… or get money out of her for his debts.”
“I am familiar with her health,” Emily said gently.
A part of Toni hated anyone seeing her mom like this. She and Lilian had a contentious relationship at the best of times, but that didn’t stop Toni from feeling protective.This is Em, though.They walked to the front desk and checked in at the visitor log. The woman at the desk, Doris, recognized Toni.
“Did you bring your girlfriend then?” she asked in a friendly voice.
“I’m afraid not. Childhood friend of the family,” Toni said. “She wants to visit Lil.”
“Lilian is in a mood tonight,” the receptionist said. “Threatened one of the nurses for coming around after her husband.”
“Perhaps we should switch that one out? Young and pretty wasalways his type.” Toni forced a smile. “Lord only knows why my mother forgave the man so often.”
“Well, won’t that be an awkward thing to phrase? ‘Only old bats on shift with Lil,’” she said with a chortle. “Thank goodness I’m not the one to tell them! I’ll mention it to the head gal, and she’ll have to find a more delicate phrasing than I would.”
She waved them through the locked doors that kept the memory care patients from roaming. The hard reality was that the residents couldn’t be trusted not to wander off into danger. That was one of the main reasons that memory care patients couldn’t live in the regular senior-living center—and why Lilian couldn’t live with Toni. Half the time, Lil didn’t know what year it was, so trusting that she wouldn’t leave and end up in danger was impossible.
They checked in again with a nurse at a desk on the other side of the door. If not for all the precautions, it might look like a cheerful dormitory. Toni tried to see it as Em would, as she had the first time she toured it. There was a dining hall, living room, a library, a game room, another sitting room, and then there were tiny dorm-style bedrooms.
“It’s very nice,” Emily said softly at her side.
“I wanted her to be happy… well, as happy as she can be,” Toni explained, feeling self-conscious over all of it. She shouldn’t, not with Em, but she was feeling emotional today.
Of all the facilities Toni toured, this felt the most cheerful—and the least like a prison.
“Lil’s in the dining room,” the nurse said. “She refuses to eat until her husband calls.”
“I’ll handle it.” Toni took a steadying breath and walked into the room. Her mother sat at a table alone. Tonight was not the best of nights, but at least Lil was semiaware.
“Patty!” She stood to greet Toni, pulling Toni into a hug. Lil’s cheeks were tear-damp as she said, “His hussy showed up here. I’m sorry I called you again, but I can’t let Antonia see me like this. You know how sensitive that girl is.”
Toni winced as her mother pulled back, noticed Emily, and instantly started to fuss with her hair. “Oh, look at me. I’m all in a state, and you bring your girlfriend around. What must you think of me?”
“I think you look lovely, Mrs. Darbyshire, absolutely lovely.” Emily accepted the hand Lil extended and shook it. “Patty says so many great things about you.”
