While I was sleeping.
While the housekeeper came into the room, Addie checked her phone for a text or message. All Toni had left was a note with as much emotional resonance as a grocery receipt:You’re amazing. Thank you for everything.
Fine, the “amazing” bit was nice.
Addie reread it, as if she’d find more hidden in the words on the scrap of paper. There were none. Nothing on the back. No signature with at least an “XO” or “fondly” or heart.Nothing.For a woman whose last grand romantic gesture was naming a character after her, Addie expected more.
Was I wrong about her? About what happened?
Addie felt dirty, especially with the housekeeper giving her a side-eye as she started to empty the trash bin in the room. Awkwardly, Addie wrapped a sheet around herself like a toga.
No luggage.
No anything but Addie’s poorly folded clothes and a note.
“Just one minute,” Addie said, hastily scooping up her clothes and the note before heading to the bathroom. “I overslept.”
No breakfast together. No time for me to grab a shower. No goodbye other than a note.
Toni had left her naked in a room that smelled of sex.
Addie wiped away tears as she dressed, splashed water on her face, and left the room. Maybe Toni hadn’t meant to make her feel so sad and rejected, but that didn’t change the fact that Addie felt exactly that way. She was as discarded as the empty liquor bottles from the minibar and the used towels on the bathroom sink.
Was that what this was?
I thought we were friends, at least, but friends don’t act like this.
Addie kept her chin up as she saw the couple from the night before in the lobby, and she kept her shoulders squared as she walked out of the lobby. So what if she had no baggage? Lots of guests came and went while at hotels. No one knew that she was leaving because her lover left without so much as a goodbye kiss or a promise to see her later.
Tears threatened to fall again, but Addie shoved them down deep to wherever the rest of the rejections went when Addie ignored them.Maybe I’m just tired.
Addie realized she might be overreacting. Shewasexhausted. Quickly, she texted, “Safe flight!”
She waited, watching the little dots dance and vanish, dance and vanish. Finally, Toni replied—with a thumbs-up.
Addie’s tears fell as she waited for her rideshare driver. By the time the driver pulled up, Addie was full out sobbing and gasping. The man twisted to look back at her and said, “There’s lots of fish in the sea. Lots of other roles. Lots of whatever it is you just lost. Don’t let the bastards get you down.”
She hiccupped in between sobs. “I got the role.”
“Well, then, congratulations!” He pulled into traffic. “My grandson gets that way every Christmas and birthday, so much anticipationthat no matter if it’s exactly what he wanted, he cries until he pukes. Don’t you be puking in my car, though.”
I thought I got the girl, too.
“I won’t.” Addie swatted at the rest of her tears, staring at her phone, wondering whether or not she ought to try to say something else. Then in a fit of impulsivity, she deleted Toni’s number and turned on an autoresponder on her email. She couldn’t text Toni without her number, and Adelaine Stewart wasn’t going to make a fool of herself chasing a woman who left without a word or kiss goodbye.
The ball’s in your court, Toni,she thought.If you want me, you know where I am.
Of course, last time, a full year passed during which Toni hid her name, her career, and even where exactly she lived. They only crossed paths in person because Toni wrote a book and Addie auditioned to play her namesake. Would Toni have invited her to meet up eventually? Had Addie forced things? It hadn’t felt that way last night, but maybe Toni was just skilled at hiding her real feelings.
She admitted that she was there that night in Scotland to pick up a woman.That was probably her plan for LA, too.Just because she said she hadn’t been with anyone since then doesn’t make it true.
Addie thought back over every detail, wishing briefly she’d screenshotted their text conversation before deleting Toni’s number. Had she misread the situation? Thrown herself at Toni? Was Toni only in bed with her because Addie was conveniently there?
In the morning light, everything looked different. Toni hadn’t pursued her. Addie had basically propositioned Toni twice, and Toni had simply accepted what Addie had offered up.People tell you who they are, and Toni said she was a fan of casual sex. So she accepted. It didn’t mean anything other than she liked the way I look.
Addie was under no illusion that she was unattractive. A woman didn’t grow up in LA, of all places, and think she was ugly if she planned to pursue the stage or screen.
With a muffled sob, Addie crumpled up the note, but she stillshoved it into her pocket. Even now, she was saving the note Toni left.
