Toni already felt a bit overwhelmed by the traffic of Los Angeles, and even though she was with someone she’d met before the book sale—literally right before—she was still in Los Angeles, having been on the set of a TV adaptation of her book, and she wasn’t entirely sure how to cope. It was all good—exciting, even—but she felt… small.
The speed at which her life had changed was daunting at the best of times. She was hella grateful, but it was all so fast, so public, so much attention. And she had not expected any of it. She’d worked on her PhD for years, steadily researching, writing, and revising. Life had been a series of late nights in the library or early mornings finishing grading for her assistantship. And during it all, Toni was invisible. She was just another TA, no one of note.
Flights and interviews and places like LA weren’t her usual speed, even now.
“I would like to walk on the beach with you,” Toni blurted out, trying not to think about how date-like it was. They’d talked for a year. They were friends. Friends went to the beach. It was a normal thing, a calming thing, like emailing Addie when she felt overwhelmed, but in person.
“You’ll have to hold my hand when we walk,” Addie teased after a quiet moment. “There are beach rules. If you take a pretty woman to the beach, you must hold her hand at some point.”
Toni looked over at her, wondering why this vivacious woman wanted to be with her, but Addie’s very serious expression continued as she said, “And we must eat ice creambeforedinner if we are to have any.”
“Dessert first?” Toni clarified.
“California law. I can’t make exceptions just because you’re a schoolteacher.”
Toni smiled. “Well, if that’s the law…”
She glanced over at Addie and noticed that she also seemed more relaxed now, more than the night they met or earlier in the lobby, and Toni liked that. She wanted to see Addie smile and be the reason for it.
It’s a normalfriendthing to want,she told herself.
The drive to the pier really wasn’t any faster than if they had gone to the restaurant, but Toni relaxed more all the same. There was something like a weight that had slid off her shoulders the more she was around Addie. The only things Addie seemed to want were things she’d already had—a romantic interlude—and time with the person she met in Scotland and chatted with online.
“So… you failed to mention that you moved back to the States,” Toni said once they were out of the car with a plan to get picked back up later.
“Not that long after you sold a book, I think.” Addie gave her a look. “Anything you forgot to mention?”
Toni felt briefly chastised. “I wanted a corner of the world whereI was neither professor nor writer. I have been a bit overwhelmed the last year.”
“I feel lucky that I was your corner, you know.” Addie tucked her hand in the bend of Toni’s arm as they strolled along the promenade. “This is about three blocks, car-free, food and shops.”
Toni nodded. “I can’t believe you knew my name the whole time.”
“I didn’t know how to bring that up. I did try, though. I told you my full name the night we met. You didn’t share yours,” Addie pointed out.
“Err, I don’t usually share my whole name with women I meet at bars,” Toni admitted.
“I figured.” Addie looked away, but Toni caught the tense way she held her shoulders.
“You’re angry that I didn’t tell you?”
“Not that first night… it was part of why I left, though. Sex isn’t something I take lightly, and you couldn’t even tell me your last name. I ran. Later, I was a little disappointed a few times. Youstilldidn’t even tell me your whole name, even though we talked every week,” Addie pointed out. “Did you think about it?”
“I hadtwonew careers launching at the same time, and you were in Scotland as far as I knew and—”
“So no?” Addie interrupted.
“Actually, yes.” Toni glanced over, feeling like these were the sort of things they probably would’ve eventually had to discuss, but now, being face-to-face was different. It was a lot easier to control perception in email. In person, there was no dodging awkward topics. “I wanted you to know my name, and about the sale, and I almost emailed to ask about using your first name in the book.”
“I almost emailed to askwhyyou used my name,” Addie said softly.
“How did you know?”
“I put an alert on your name, and I saw the news on your book deal and…” Addie shrugged, like it was no big deal that she hadknown the very things Toni angsted over confessing. Addie gave her a sheepish smile. “I wasn’t trying to be weird. I liked you. I liked your lecture. And I liked what happened when we were… when we… when you…”
“The garden,” Toni filled in helpfully.
“Yes.” Addie’s face reddened. “The garden.”
