“Why?”
“Because she won’t answer, and now she’s hurt and—”
“No. Why do you keep calling?” Emily asked. “It’s obviously not about the show, and if she won’t talk to you, there are plenty of other women who will.”
Toni flopped onto her sofa. “Em…”
“Have you told her?” Emily asked gently.
“I don’t want to hurt her,” Toni said helplessly. “You know me. I can’t be what she wants. I can’t move to California. I can’t ask her to give up her career. I watched my mom suffer because—”
“Addie isn’t Lil, and you haven’t even tried,” Emily pointed out. “You couldn’t get a PhD or write a bestselling novel or a sequel or… handle your mom’s care. You can’t do a lot of things if you don’t eventryit. You’re being a coward.”
Toni realized she was crying when Oscar Wilde headbutted her face and came away damp. She swiped at her cheeks. “I need to know she’s okay.”
“Because?”
“Because I love her,” Toni whispered.
“I’m fairly certain she feels the same way,” Emily consoled her.
“She does. That’s why she ended things. I said if either of us fell in love we had to stop seeing each other, and she said she loves me, so…” Toni’s words faded.
“Go to LA, Toni. Make it right. Don’t be a scaredy-cat.Goto her, and be there with her.” Emily sounded like she was trying very hard to be patient—and about to fail. “Buy a ticket and go there. Now.”
Toni held on to Oscar Wilde. “What if I fuck it up?”
“You are almost guaranteed to fuck up sometimes,” Emily said bluntly. “You love her, though, and she loves you, and you arehappywith her. You’ll figure the rest out together.”
“What if I get like Lil?”
“Old and beautiful?” Emily countered.
“Em.”
“Sweetie, there is no way to know if you’ll develop dementia in the distant future, but refusing to let yourself love Addie and be loved by her because youmightdevelop an illness decades from now is cowardly. Refusing to try is impressively stupid. And, honestly, it’s not just your decision. Let Addie decide if you’re worth the risk. Hell, she might leave you in a year.”
“She won’t,” Toni said.
“Then stop being a coward.” Emily sighed. “Go tell her you’re a fool who loves her before someone who isn’t this obstinate sweeps her away.”
“Will you watch Oscar Wilde if I’m not back by Monday? His feeder is full, and his new litter boxes are self-cleaning, but he’ll be lonely.”
“Yes.” Emily sounded like she was smiling now. “I know this is scary, sweetie, but I think she’s lucky to have found you. Go see her. Show her that you won’t run away when you get emotional or afraid. Tell her what you were afraid of.”
Toni already had her laptop open. Finding a last-minute ticket the night before Thanksgiving was neither easy nor cheap, but that was exactly what Toni was going to do. She was going to fly to California, tell Addie how she felt, and beg for forgiveness.
They could figure it out… if it wasn’t too late.
If Addie’s okay.
She has to be okay.
I can’t lose her.
Chapter 47Addie
Addie blinked as the stage lights came on. Two security guards came in and lifted the sofa off her. Everything was blurry.Maybe whatever Philip spilled got in my eye?She was confused, but she knew something was wrong.
