“No need. You’re fine to stay here. It’s not a terrible commute down there, so if you are okay with that…?”
Addie put a hand in the middle of Toni’s chest. “So you don’t mind me being here after all?”
“I could get used to a few days of you around here,” Toni admitted. After an extended pause, she added, “I like you, Adelaine. Far too much, in fact.”
“Same.” Addie smiled.
Toni tried to tell herself that having Addie here was no different than the few times she spent a few days in a nameless hotel withwomen or that one unexpected cruise ship, but she couldn’t lie to herself. She liked having Addie in her home. She liked it far more than she wanted to admit.
By the time Toni drove Addie to the airport three days later, she was exhausted. When she wasn’t grading or teaching or dealing with book things, she was with Addie. And while it was possible to teach and write or to write and be with Addie, trying to juggle all three was exhausting.
But waking up to the knowledge that Addie was leaving wasn’t doing wonders for her mood. She’d rather be exhausted than without Addie.
Toni had glowered at everyone the day prior when Addie was in Richmond for an interview on morning TV, but by evening, Addie was home. While Addie was away, Toni had managed to squeeze in a nap, order delivery, and get a few chapters of her new book revised. She even caught up on email. If Addie was busy part of the time, Toni thought she could juggle everything she had to do.
Not that it matters. I live here. She lives in LA, and neither of us can move.
Toni’s anxiety twitched down to her very marrow realizing that she was considering a future in which Addie was still in her life. That was impossible even if she did want it. Addie wasn’t going to stop acting, and Toni wasn’t going to stop teaching. That meant opposite sides of the country.
She glanced over. “Do you think I have been overreacting to… things with us?”
Addie made a noise that sounded a lot like a snort.
“That’s a yes.” Toni kept her attention on the traffic. The DC Beltway was never anything other than chaotic, and Toni enjoyed the adrenaline of it when it was moving. Not rush hour—well, rushhours,if one was honest; no rational person enjoyed the stop-and-roll hours of the Beltway.
“You’ve already fake-married me, and if youreallydon’t do relationships, I’ll be the only chance you get to try one. Plus we live on opposite sides of the country, so you have plenty of time without me.” Addie stared at her, even though Toni refused to look her way.
“So you think we should… date?”
“Wearedating, Toni. You’re just calling it other things in private. You even admitted it in a press release.” Addie huffed. “Are you afraid of being wrong? Afraid you might actually fall for me if you admit that we’re dating?”
“No.” Toni was pretty sure she would fall hard if she stopped resisting, but she wasn’t going to give in to that. “I want us to be friends, even after we stop having sex someday.”
“You’re an idiot, you know. How about we focus onright nowinstead of borrowing trouble from a future that might not happen? Can we focus on next week? Do you like seeing me? Being naked with me? Or are we done when I get on this plane?” Addie sounded exasperated. They’d gone on several great dates, and the last couple nights—plus the weekend and the night in LA—were all satisfying.
“I like you, and I like kissing you and sex with you. That’s all I’m able to give anyone. You need to understand that,” Toni said carefully. “I can’t give you more than this.”
“I like this. So why can’t we keep doingthis?” Addie asked. “Why are you complicating things instead of enjoying what we have now?”
Toni weighed the thought of it. It sounded so simple. She’d get to spend more time with Addie. They were friends, and the sex was good.Where’s the harm?She could date her fake wife without developing impossible romantic feelings.
“There’s no future, though,” Toni added, glancing over at her again.
“So you say.” Addie gave her a smile that would have been suitable for the greatest temptresses in history. “I’ll forgive you if you’re wrong, and if you’re not, I hope we stay friends no matter what else happens.”
Toni dodged the question as she parked in short-term parking and cut off the engine. “So Chicago, then New Orleans…”
“Then either back to LA or… I could stop here.” Addie shot her a hopeful look. “Or you could come to New Orleans for the weekend.”
“Let’s play it by ear.” Toni hopped out and went around to open Addie’s door. “I can’t make any long-term promises. I need you to be okay with that.”
“Two to three weeks is long-term?” Addie scoffed. “Friends, Toni. That’s what you said, right? Friends who get naked and go on dates. Surely,friendscan talk about plans for the next month.”
“That’s still new territory for me, love.”
“I’m not trying to scare you,” Addie whispered. “We’re both busy, and I like being around you, so a little planning is going to happen or I won’t be able to see you at all. Don’t throw out something good because of what might happen later.”
Toni shoved her panic deeper. “Let me see what I can do. I can’t promise anything.”
