And I can’t even talk about it with anyone.
So he hid away in the library and read up on the history of the magical world.
Inside the hidden library, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, complete with rolling ladders, lined all the walls, creating a veritable fortress of books. Circular shelves jutted out in a pattern that was a bit too much like ribs for his comfort. But the important thing was that there were tables, cushy seats, and a few desks that appeared to have translucent bubbles over them for privacy. Not exactly privacy of the “let’s get naked in the library” way, but the study bubbles were great for private conversation.
If a person wanted to research, as Dan had lately, there were three of Ramelli’s sixteenth-century bookwheels. He could have multiple books open at once. Nothing so far offered much in the way of explanations for the sludge in the woods, why he was able to boost magic, or even why Axell could make them invisible. The library was surprisingly low on the magical information he needed for answering his precise questions, but everything he’d read led to new ideas. So it wasn’t a “topic to answer” sort of organization that he’d found in the library, more of a meandering sort of knowledge-gathering that made Dan fairly sure the library needed a team of librarians.
But he hadn’t come anywhere near exhausting the information yet, and he was no longer someone Elleanor Brandeau even remembered, so he hadn’t figured out how to approach her and say, “I found a library that desperately needs a flock of librarians.”
A fleet?
An encyclopedia?
Whatwasa group of librarians called?
A knowledge?
A catalogue?
A coven?
Dan briefly mused that maybe witch brains were all ADHD, because his own thought processes seemed increasingly nonlinear.
“Does magic rewire the brain?” he said aloud, and then he felt a vague tug in his center toward a shelf with a book calledNeuromagical Intervention.It was tucked between a book calledDaydreaming for Divas,which looked like a spicy romance, and a book onMental Magic for More Magical Ministrations,the cover of which hinted that it was on sex magic.
Of coursethatwas the one in his hand when Axell joined him.
“Perhaps a bit more advanced than where we are,” Axell mused. “First we should have sex, perhaps?”
Dan’s face flushed. “I wasn’t… that was… I was looking at this one!” He grabbed atNeuromagical Interventionbut instead pulledDaydreaming for Divasoff the shelf. “I was thinking about something else, not sex.”
Axell laughed softly. “Such a shame. I think you are thinking of it now, though.”
“Well, you just said we should have sex.”
“We should. I think if you are feeling romantic, Daniel, we can go somewhere else.…”
Dan glanced down at the paperback in his hand. “Damn it. Not this one.” He jabbed the neuromagical book. “This. I was wondering about brain magic. This is what I was trying to grab.”
“Ah.” Axell nodded once. “Less fun. Like the scary witch. She is not what I think about if I want to feel like getting naked.”
And Dan couldn’t argue withthat.Lady Prospero was the reason he was thinking about mental magic. Helping her erase Ellie’s and Maggie’s minds was probably the worst thing he’d ever done, and it was impossible to stop thinking about it.
Am I a bad witch?
Was helping her for my own gain my start to being a villain?
Could I have done something different?
Part of his mind argued that what was done was done, but examining our past was how we planned our future. He knew that without doubt. He had been faced with a choice, and he couldn’t help but think he’d made the wrong one.
How will I respond next time?
He wished he could lie and say he had a plan, but the truth was that he still couldn’t say. Here he was safe. Here Ellie and Maggie were safe. Theylookedhappy-ish. He had rolled the details over in his mind and had no clearer sense of what he should, could, would do differently if given the same choice today.
“I need to talk to you,” Dan started. If he was going to try a relationship with Axell, surely he could talk about what he did.
What if he doesn’t want you?a little voice asked. Self-doubt was his thing, his gift.Maybe that’s my magic? But how?
