I’m hopelessly fucked, I realize, and I think I have been for a long time.
31Soul-Day
I didn’t think I could love again after Kiana. I didn’t think it was built in me to do it anymore. That my heart was a broken cup, and love would slip through every crack. I tried everything to deny it. To deny you. But I can’t anymore.
—Rune Ryker’s unsent letter to Draven Vos
I RUB MY HANDas I take a short break between answering questions on my Minor Arcana exam.What kind of person does the Knight of Swords represent?Someone associated with the mind and communication, who rarely sugarcoats things and may represent a rival.What is the meaning of the Ten of Cups when applied to a person in a reading?Unconditional love.How would the Eight of Wands enhance the Chariot?The card of movement would allow the Chariot to travel even faster.
I’m not sure if the written or practicals are more difficult. While everyone else just has to summon their own Major Arcana, its inverse, and pair them with a few of the Minor Arcana to show their progress, mine is more complicated. I have to summon the Worldandthe other Major Arcana, too.
Professor Vexus oversees my practicals, and he seems to have some kind of personal vendetta.
“Now the Star card,” he orders, having already requested the High Priestess, the Hermit, Strength, and the Devil at record speed. Sweat beads my temple but I summon the World, then the Star right after it. My fingers interlace, the cards floating between them, and when I pull my hands apart, there’s a golden dagger of starlight. He takes it in his hand, flicking it across his palms, looking unimpressed.
“Now the Empress.” He watches me through narrowed eyes as I hesitate. I can barely heal a paper cut.
“What do I need to heal?” I shift in my seat but as he opens his mouth, looking around for something, Kenzo appears, clapping him on the shoulder.
“Rune is late for sparring. We have our own exams to run.”
“She will have to be late. I am not satisfied she’s displayed enough—”
“You have passed every other student here after four moves. I hate to think you held bias against a student just because you don’t like her fated prince.” Kenzo looks down on Professor Vexus until he grits his jaw, clearing his throat.
I notice Professor Fenrys and Professor Atum watching us nearby, their line of students already done.
Vexus clears his throat. “All of us love His Royal Highness. Professor Anstead, wouldn’t you agree it’s fair to have Rune perform much more than the average student, considering the gift she’s been given?” But if he thought appealing to the next strictest professor would help, I can tell by the way the corners of Vexus’s lips draw downward he already knows he’s wrong.
“She’s displayed total competence in everything you’ve asked, which shows her acumen is stronger than most students in our populace. You’re free to go, Rune, great effort today.”
Kenzo doesn’t exactly take it easy on me either, claiming he doesn’t want me thinking I’ll be getting any “special treatment.” He runs all of us through a gauntlet of drills and fight techniques, allowing us to only receive five unblocked strikes or kicks before we’re considered a failing grade. I come out of it with three, nearly four.
I wake the next morning sore and exhausted. I hope it was enough, but I’ll have to wait to find out for sure. The results will come in the days before Solstice. At least I have a couple of weeks of no academic work or training. Draven should arrive in a few days at least, planning to bring me to Court with him for the holidays.
And it’s my soul-day.
A knock sounds at the door. I hope it’s Ember; she’s been teasing me about the soul-day present she, Amaya, and Cleona picked out. Something raunchy or embarrassing, I suspect. I look at the little crystal frog on my bedside table that she’s already gotten for me. I told her it’s more than enough, but she isn’t very easily deterred. Felix claims to have made me a present from the moonshine he’s been creating, which is likely to make me sick. The day of finals, Wynter gave me a simple leather-bound notebook, a moon and stars across its emerald surface, the edges gold foil.
I open the door, and standing on the steps—
“Draven!” I throw myself into his arms as he stands with a bouquet of black and crimson roses in his hand. He staggers, nearly going down, but his wings buffer out, grounding his feet. He laughs at my enthusiasm, wearing a wildly bright grin as he grips onto me, fingertips clenching into my backside, settling me down onto the icy steps.
I didn’t realize snow was something that ever happened here, and a few flakes drift down around us as we stand in each other’s warmth. “I thought you weren’t going to make it—”
“Come now, I couldn’t leave you on the day that celebrates your soul entering this world,” he says, still grinning, teeth bright and flawless, eyes luminous violet.
I stretch onto my tiptoes, my mouth locking against his, and he scoops his hand against my jaw to keep me there. Euphoria collides with desire and a calm only he can give. His tongue sweeps mine, my lips massaging his, and I lose myself for a minute.
When I finally stop, he whispers against me, “Gods, I have fucking missed you.”
“Well, don’t waste any time.” I grab him by the front of his jacket and pull him inside. His gaze blackens, following obediently.
“I know I’ve teased that you have some things to make up for, but as it’s your soul-day, I am looking forward to spoiling you thoroughly,” Draven promises, chucking down an overnight bag. His hand is on the door, ready to snap it closed behind us, when I hear my name being called.
“RUNE! Happy soul-day!”
Draven hesitates, watching my expression for permission to shut the door in their faces, but I’m sure I heard Ember and peek back to find my friends flagging me down. I wave them over, and Draven groans a little.
