Darcy didn’t see why Teagan’s appeal to teenage girls was really relevant to whatever point Sloane was trying to make. She was positive that Teagan would have been totally oblivious to any come-ons that did not rise to the level of taking off clothes and requesting sex in small discrete words, as that was what Darcy had basically had to do.
“He’srich, he’snice, he puts on headphones whenever he’s watching videos on his phone—he’s basically an urban legend,” Sloane said, ticking off Teagan’s advantages on her manicured fingers.
She was eliding some of Teagan’s drawbacks, like the very recent crisis with alcoholism, but it wasn’t like Darcy hadn’t privately made a similar assessment. Who wouldn’t want Teagan? Of course she did. But she wanted Teagan like she wanted to finish college or work for the Park Service: with a great deal of respect for the likelihood she wouldn’t have him.
“You sound like you’re trying to sell him to me,” Darcy scoffed.
“Yes! I am! Except I thought I’d already sold him to you. You were going to come here and take care of him.”
“I am,” Darcy said, defensive at the idea that her performance might be criticized. “I’m being very careful with him. We talk about his sobriety plan for all the places he goes, and we’ve already managed the office and a bunch of lunches and dinners, and he hasn’t had a single relapse—”
“You were supposed to do more than that,” Sloane complained. “You made him go out and do stuff. And eat healthy shit. And like, be in the sun and not thinking about his job.”
Darcy’s lower lip twisted as she considered that. “He’s not a dog I can walk. Recovery is about figuring out how tolive without alcohol, and you’re supposed to be cautious about making big changes—”
“It’s going to be a big change when you ditch him in December!”
“I’m not ditching him,” Darcy protested. “We said ninety days in the first place.”
“So you want to go? You think living in a dorm and washing cars is better than being with Teagan?” Sloane asked incredulously.
“I didn’t—look, if I find something else here, I don’t have to go,” Darcy said, feeling her back up against a wall. “But I don’t even know how to look for work here.”
“So you’re still deciding whether you like my brother, is that it? You’ve known him for a couple of months, and he’s totally obsessed with you, but you just can’t decide whether you want to be with him?” Sloane was getting herself worked up, and other people on the patio were turning to look at them.
Darcy exhaled, considering the righteous fury of the hungover college student in front of her. It was hard to relate. Darcy had never in her life thought that she would get things just because she wanted or deserved them. What Darcywantedwas a consideration she rarely had the luxury of consulting in her constant scramble to keep herself housed and employed.
It didn’t matter how she felt about Teagan. That wouldn’t change a single thing except how hard it would hurt when this ended. She had no control over how long he kept her around.
“Some of us don’t have trust funds. I don’t have a rich brother who loves me. I don’t have a car or a savings accountor a degree—or friends with apartments in Manhattan. So what I have is a contingency plan. I know I have a job until December, and now I know I have a job after December. I can’t afford to not have one.”
Sloane stuck out her chin. “It’s not like Teagan would make you start paying rent. He’d be thrilled if you just stuck around and lay by the pool and finished your degree. It’s the dream, really.”
“Sloane. Feminismwept,” Darcy said, giving the girl the stink eye. “A little advice, from someone older, don’t organize your life around a man wanting you around.”
Sloane hooked a thumb at the restaurant, where Teagan had still not returned. “You really think my brother is going to flake on you? Teagan? Who is so addicted to fixing other people’s problems that he’s still doing our mom’s job two years after she died—”
“I know how it ends though!” Darcy said, really wishing the conversation would end. “The same way it always does. I guess this is all great to start out with”—and she gestured vaguely at her face and chest—“but then after a while, the dude realizes that I don’t cook, I don’t clean, I don’tread, I’m kind of a bitch...”
She fit in exactly zero of the places Teagan went in his normal life. That had to be grating on him already. It was only going to get worse when Teagan got better.
“It’s okay to be kind of a bitch,” Sloane said, making big circles with her hands. “In New York, at least.”
“Maybe so.” Darcy stared at the empty table. “But I guess what I’m saying is, yeah, Teagan wants me around now. And that’s great. But he’s just starting recovery, so of course he wants me around to help him out. But what if he gets outpast ninety days, and he feels better, and then he doesn’t? He’s still figuring out who he is without alcohol in his life.”
Sloane scrunched up her pretty face in a dramatic pout. Her mouth moved like she was wrestling with her words. Deep thought didn’t seem like her natural default.
“He’s not going to be a different person,” she finally said. “Teagan is always like this. He’s always been like this.”
Sloane sounded very sincere when she said that, but Darcy thought, with a pang, that it would be a shame if that were true. Teagan had been going through it since she met him.Ithad varied, but Darcy had takenthroughas a temporary state.
Darcy was there for the temporary, to clear the way for thesomedayhe’d have with someone else, when he was better, happy, ready for his permanent life. Remembering that was how she was going to keep her heart from getting broken when he told her they were done.
“Where is he, anyway?” Darcy said, spotting their server heading back with a laden tray. “Did he get lost?”
“Uh...” Sloane looked around. “I dunno.”
“Crap,” Darcy said, abruptly worried that Teagan was locked in another bathroom. She tossed her recycled linen napkin on the table and stood. “I’ll go find him.”
