Like I was naked.
“Sorry! I thought you saw me,” he said as he skated even closer.
“I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, sono, I didn’t see you,” I said, clutching my chest and trying to will my heart rate to slow down.
I realized that he’d probably witnessed all my sexy improv and felt my cheeks go hot. I wasn’t skating to be perceived in this moment, and it pissed me off that he’d intruded. I spent most of my time being watched, judged, graded, so the moments when I could skate just for myself were precious.
“Hey, you folks okay out here?” Frank called from the edge of the ice. “I heard a scream.”
“We’refine,” I yelled back, waving one hand over my head while glaring at Ben.
“Okey doke. I’m heading out for a quick bite,” he yelled back before he disappeared into his cave.
I refocused my attention on Ben, so mad that I was nearly fuming.
“Why are you here?” I demanded.
“Heads Will Roll” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs kicked up in my remaining earbud, which felt like the right sort of hype song in the moment.
“This.” He pointed to the ice under his skates. “I forgot how much I miss it. I had no clue you’d be here too, I’m sorry I scared you. Frank let me in. Anyway, I thought I had your full schedule nailed down. You didn’t mention that you do early morning skates.”
His expression looked so believably worried that I couldalmostforgive him. I fished through my pocket to find my phone and turn off the music.
“Well, sometimes things change. And I didn’t think you needed to know everyminuteof my day.”
“Maybe now I should? Fill me in.” Ben tried to hide a grin. “So this never happens again, of course,” he said quickly.
“Should I set up a shared Google calendar?”
“Yeah, that would actually be super helpful, because then—”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Right. Got it. Anyway, I’m sorry I intruded, but I’m really happy I got to see that. It was beautiful. Different,” he said softly. “You are just...” He shook his head, like he couldn’t find the words.
We stared at one another silently, his dark eyes doing to me exactly what they did to the rest of the world.
Seducing.
I skated away from him under the pretense of needing water, but it was actually because I felt that urge rising up in me again. The swift current of need that I could spend all my energy fighting, only to end up exhausted and overpowered by it anyway.
I hated that, despite everything, I was starting to trust him again. Our first interview at the dance studio had felt like a conversation with a friend. He knew where my land mines were buried and he managed to avoid every single one of them. He’d made me feel so safe that when we finished I had to hold myself back from hugging him. Not that we talked about anything major, but still.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No,” I sighed. “You can stay.”
Inexplicably, half of the overhead lights went out with a mechanicalca-thunk, leaving the rink with dim mood lighting.
I understood Ben’s pull to get back on the ice, because here I was, heeding it as well. And I skated every damn day. I couldn’t imagine how deprived he must feel after going from a life on skatesto... I wasn’t even sure how he filled his days now, and it was time to find out.
“What do you do, when you’re not being my shadow?” I asked Ben. “You said you’re on a trial run with the show, so like, how have you been keeping busy up to this point?”
I braced myself for a fire hose of impressive side hustles, but his expression went momentarily pained, like I detonated one ofhishidden land mines.
“My focus right now is onThe Score,” he answered. He skated away and I followed him.
I sped up and moved in front of him, so I could watch his face. “Okay, so what about before? Like, for the past four years?”
