I jumped off the bed, too mortified to say anything else, but he grabbed my wrist before I could get away.
“Sorry. I made it weird,” I muttered, trying to blink back a fresh tickle of tears that were about humiliation this time around.
“No, youwon,” he said with awe in his voice, still gripping my arm. “You beat me. I’ve been sitting here trying to come up with a way to tell you how much I love you without making it sound like I’m some sort of prize that’s going to help you through this weirdness. I didn’t want it to seem like I thought that me loving you is enough to get you past all these shitty feelings you have every right to be feeling. I mean, it helps alittle, but you still have to sort through the origins of the way you feel in order to really—”
I bent over, grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him, hard.
I could feel him smiling at me through the kiss, confirming that the three words he hadn’t actually said to me would’ve come if I’d just given him a few more seconds to pontificate. But at this point he didn’t have to say them, because Bennett Martinohad been trying to show me that he loved me since our reunion in the diner.
When we finally pulled apart Ben reached out to cup my cheek.
“Yeah, I fucking love you, too,” he said, sounding a little dumbfounded. “From the first moment we met, and for the rest of them that we’ll share.”
Chapter Forty-Six
The Greater Woodspring Skating Arena looked like a high school gym at prom time. There were twinkly lights strung up on the plexiglass surrounding the rink, and crepe paper and balloons hanging in the common areas. The lights were dimmer than usual, like the rink was putting on a showcase, but the ice was crowded with skaters of all ages and abilities, inching and gliding along to overloud pop music.
The big handmade sign in the lobby said, “Farewell Quinn!” and was covered in so many signatures that the lettering was almost obscured.
Zoey skated to the edge of the ice, where I was watching everyone. “You having fun?”
“Is it possible to have fun and be sad at the same time?” I mused. “Because I miss you guys already.”
“Yeah, same. I hate this for me, but I love it for you,” she agreed.
We both went silent as we scanned the crowd.
“Nate’s been hogging your boyfriend the whole night.” She pointed at the two of them in the far corner of the rink. “Poor Ben.”
Speedskating and free skate were dicey rinkmates but they were making it work. Nate had committed to the change in sport months ago, and the chance to pick Ben’s brain had Nate shadowing him since we’d arrived.
“Please, he loves it. He claims that he could never be a coach but he’sreallygood at it.”
“That means he’s got a backup plan if his next gig doesn’t work out.”
“Check out Justin and Sarah.” I jutted my chin toward the center of the ice. “The man can doeverything.”
It looked like my former dance instructor was getting a private lesson from my former choreographer. Somehow, even though he’d only been on skates a handful of times, Justin was managing a decent two-foot spin.
But that was the power of a good coach and a committed student.
“How’s your new program coming along?” I asked Zoey. “I feel like I’ve missed so much.”
She pursed her lips and glared at me. “That’s because youhave.”
I reached over and put my hand on top of hers. “Sorry. I’m with you in spirit. I hope you know that.”
“I do, I was totally kidding. The new program is going great, actually. My parents are having a hard time with the music, but they’ll get over it. No more classical!”
I smiled. I liked to think that my win was influencing other skaters to branch out and skate to whattheyloved, not what tradition demanded of them. I was also noticing way more black skates and blades than ever. Even Sarah was sporting them now.
“Are your parents still here?” I asked, craning my neck to look over my shoulder to the common area. “I need to say bye to them.”
“Oh trust me, they won’t leave without giving you a squeeze,”she said. “Are you going to...” she trailed off and pointed at the ice.
I shook my head. “I didn’t even bring my skates tonight. I just want to soak everything in and say my goodbyes, you know? If I skate it’ll turn into the Quinn show.”
I realized after I said it that I was echoing what Ben had told me in this very rink. I understood the sentiment now. I wanted to participate in the celebration in a different way. I still loved being Figure Skater Quinn—I’d spent a few hours on the ice by myself this morning, skating an emotional goodbye to the place that had helped me win gold—but tonight I was a just a Woodspring resident saying farewell to my beloved community.
