“One second, y’all, not quite done,” he said, holding up a finger. He moved the excavator to the display and tapped the round rock with the claw on the front of the machine. The rock split open and a cascade of small polished river rocks streamed out like water, spilling over the edge of the table and pooling artfully in the grass below.
The camera cut to the judges who stood side by side with their mouths hanging open, then back to Aaron, who beamed from the cab of the excavator.
“Oh crap, that was really good,” Winnie stage-whispered.
“Can we turn it off? I don’t want to see him win,” Cora said.
“Shhh, it’s not a sure thing yet. Let’s just see what happens, these shows are unpredictable,” Vanessa answered, leaning forward but keeping one hand on Fritz.
The judges deliberated while flashbacks of the show played, highlighting the contestants’ highs and lows throughout the series. The reel focused on Aaron’s choreographed hug with Andy during the “forgiveness” episode, where he acted as if he had gone through a master class about gay rights. When the show went back to the live shot, the previously eliminated contestants had gathered behind James, Carly, and Aaron. Brittany stepped forward with an envelope in her hand.
“It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. It’s time to announce the winner ofAmerica’s ... Hottest ... Landscaper.” She paused to let it sink in. “Our champion will receive a check for a hundred thousand dollars, their very own customized miniexcavator worth over ten thousand dollars, courtesy of Crenshaw Tools, a lifetime supply of GrowRite natural fertilizer, and a monthly column inModern Gardeningmagazine.”
The camera cut to the finalists, who all managed to hide their excitement behind stoic smiling faces.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the winner ofAmerica’s Hottest Landscaperis...” The pause seemed to go on indefinitely.
“SAY IT!” Vanessa screamed at the TV. “Just say it already!”
“Carly Gannon!”
The room was silent for a moment.
“And justice prevails!” Maggie shouted, dancing around the room. She high-fived each of them as she pranced by. Cora clapped her hands and rocked back and forth maniacally.
“It’s over!He’sover!” she exclaimed.
“Look at Aaron—he’spissed!” Vanessa said gleefully. Aaron barely hid his scowl as he hugged Carly.
“That is what you call a plot twist, my friends. The king is dead, long live the queen!” Darnell said triumphantly.
TWENTY-FIVE
Cora’s phone rang at five after ten the next morning. She was still reveling in Aaron’s loss and fighting off the killer hangover from their celebration the night before. Cora had lucked out and scheduled her first client for noon, but Maggie couldn’t get out of her regular shift at Saks, so she was already at work and Cora was surprised to see her picture come up on the phone’s display.
“Ca-can you come pick me up?” Maggie cried into the phone. “I don’t want to ride the Meh-Meh-Metro like this.” She hiccuped.
“Maggie, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?”
“I gotfired!” she wailed.
“What? How is that possible?”
“The steamer! They think I stole the stuh-steamer!”
“The broken one? They were throwing it out. Did you tell them it was broken and Gym Jake fixed it?”
“I told them everything, Cora, they won’tlisten to me! They escorted me out like a criminal!” Her wails got louder. “Please just come get me. I’m in the parking lot.”
Cora glanced at the time. “I’m on my way right now.”
Fritz and Josie barely stirred as she ran by them, both exhausted by their early morning wrestling match. “Aunt Maggie is going to need a lot of love when we get home,” she told them.
Making it to the mall in record time, Cora found Maggie sitting under a tree in the far corner of the parking lot. Her face was covered in a spiderweb of mascara streaks.
“Darnell told them about the steamer,” Maggie spat at Cora as she climbed in the car. “He’sthe reason I got fired.”
“Why does it even matter? They were throwing it out, right?”
