“Am I doing okay, guys? Because this feels really awkward.”
Everyone spoke at the same time, offering encouragement and praise.
Maggie stood up and clapped her hands to quiet the room. “Let’s not torture her any more. You’re all done, and you were fantastic. We love you, Cora.”
“Thanks for doing this, you guys. I feel a little less nervous now.”
“We’re counting on you!” Vanessa cheered. “We’ve got five minutes beforeAHLis on. I’m opening the wine and getting ready.”
“You do realize that you’re sort of a traitor to Cora for watching this show, right?” Darnell asked Vanessa as she walked to the kitchen.
“I’m not rooting for that jackass,” Vanessa answered. “I want James to win.”
The finale consisted of a single challenge on the property of the sprawling French country mansion where the contestants had been living, involving three large sculpture garden installations and heavy equipment. The players were being judged by a panel of experts including a botanical garden director, an editor fromModern Gardeningmagazine, and the president of a tractor company who was undoubtedly relishing the product placement on the show.
“I hope Aaron loses,” Cora said after they’d all settled in. Seeing him rounding the final lap in the lead was more uncomfortable than she had anticipated, but it made her feel small to want him to lose.
“We all do, baby. I’m a traitor to my sexual orientation because I want Carly to win, not Mr. Abs,” Darnell replied.
“Well, the fact that he’s a raging homophobe might discourage your support as well,” Maggie added. Darnell made a noncommittal noise.
The challenge required the finalists to bring to life their plans for modernist sculpture gardens by moving large boulders with a miniexcavator. The contestants had to tread gently over the sod they had painstakingly laid in the previous episode, taking care not to turn the wheel roughly or pause in one spot for too long and risk damaging it.
Brittany, the host, spoke gravely into the camera. “The sculpture garden challenge is a timed event, so our finalists have to execute their plans while keeping an eye on the clock. James, you’re up first. Good luck.”
James shed his black tank top before he climbed into his excavator, exposing his sinewy chest and the dark Asian-style tattoos on both of his arms. He had been a quiet but fierce competitor during the series, and a fan favorite to steal the win from extroverts Carly and Aaron.
Sadly, his installation looked like Stonehenge if it had been assembled by a kindergartener. Aaron sat close to Carly on the sidelines, whispering to her and laughing as James sweated through the challenge. The judges didn’t hide their disapproval.
Brittany stepped in front of the camera again, speaking with the reverence of a choir director. “Carly, are you ready to take your turn with the sculpture garden challenge?”
She nodded her head and blew a kiss toward the camera, bounding to her customized pink excavator like she knew she had already won.
Carly opted for ease over style, selecting four large round polished rocks that she merely needed to transport to her assigned plot and place in size order, a design that subliminally referenced her unmissable implants. She worked quickly, pushing the excavator to its top speed. It jostled over the uneven terrain, bumping her around in her seat and causing her oversize breasts to ricochet in her tiny sports bra.
The camera cut to Aaron. “Mmmm, girl. Make your ponytail bounce!”
“Oh my God, did he really say that?” Maggie asked.
“I don’t get it, why does he care about her ponytail?” Darnell asked.
“Duh, it’s a gross way of saying he wants to see her boobs bounce. Cora, I’m sorry but he issucha tool.”
“I know, I know. I’m mortified,” she replied, unable to stop staring at the TV. He seemed so at ease on camera. She hoped that skill lurked somewhere in her, too.
Vanessa looked up from her phone. “Ugh, ‘make your ponytail bounce’ is already trending on Twitter.”
Carly finished the challenge, and the two male judges golf clapped for her while the lone female judge looked down at her clipboard and made notes. Her time beat James’s, so unless his design was deemed superior, he was out of the competition.
“Aaron, are you ready to go?” Brittany asked solemnly.
“Yee haw, you bet I am!” he shouted, pumping his fist.
“Wait a sec, when did he pick up that accent? Isn’t he from suburban Fairfax or something?” Winnie asked.
“He is. I have no idea when he converted to good-old-boy-ism,” Cora answered, still mesmerized by what was unfolding on the show. Aaron seemed familiar and foreign to her at the same time. She remembered the way he walked, his laugh, his broad hands and his quick smile, but she had never seen this practiced cockiness to his mannerisms, as if he had studied other successful reality show contestants for tips on how to act on camera.
Not to be outdone by James, Aaron stripped off his tight T-shirt and casually flexed his bicep as he climbed into the excavator. He whipped through his installation even faster than Carly, assembling a large flat rock atop two twelve-foot-tall supporting rocks like a cubist table. He finished with the delicate placement of a huge round boulder on top of the table, and the judges clapped.
