It was. He had no idea. “My mother dated guys I inherently distrusted when I was growing up.”
His smile slipped. My mother almost always made it into our conversations. He was pleasant to her in person, when we were at my house, but it was obvious he disliked her. When I thought about things from his perspective, how my childhood must have sounded, I understood why he got agitated. The thing was, I wanted to share the details of my childhood with him. He was the only one I told these stories to.
I wasn’t looking for sympathy—the opposite really—but I needed him to understand me. The miraculous thing was hedid. He listened, wasn’t afraid to give his opinion on my mother’s actions when raising me, but didn’t tell me what to do with her now. That was exactly what I needed.
“Your mother doesn’t strike me as somebody who has great taste in men,” he noted.
I frowned when the doors to the hearse shut, and I looked around. There were six empty seats. “Is it just us?” That didn’t seem economical.
“I rented out the entire car,” he confirmed.
“You did?” I fixed him with a curious look. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to share you with anybody.”
I laughed. “Why really?”
“That’s the reason. We can’t talk freely with other people around. You know how I hate it when people figure out who we are.” He frowned at a recent memory of two tourists recognizing our names during a cemetery trip. They’d fawned all over us for two straight hours until we could no longer cope. It should have been flattering. Instead, we didn’t feel as if we could talk openly. It had been a stilted outing, to say the least.
“How expensive was this?” I was going to offer him money for my half, but the way his eyes narrowed had me stilling.
“I decided to rent the whole thing out. I’m covering the cost.” He tapped the end of my nose. “Not everything has to be tit for tat with us.”
He’d said that before. If he bought dinner one night, I insisted on paying the next night. He kept saying it was unnecessary, but for years, I’d watched my mother use men for what they could give her. I didn’t want him seeing me that way. It was possible I’d taken things too far at dinner three nights before when I’d tried to sneak the bill away from him when he was in the bathroom. It was the only thing we ever argued about.
“Fine.” I blew out a sigh. “I’ll pay for next weekend’s adventure.”
He rolled his eyes. “You are too much sometimes.”
“That’s better than not being enough, right?”
“I prefer when you’re just enough.”
“And me letting you pay for everything is me being just enough?” I said. He wouldn’t appreciate the challenge in my voice, but there was no stopping me.
“It’s not about paying for everything. It’s about wanting to have fun with you and not worrying that you’re going to be constantly trying to balance the scales. I want to do this with you. I did not want to risk people going nuts about the books during the tour.” He hesitated. “I love my readers. I really do. Most of the time, people don’t recognize either of us. I can be myself when it’s just the two of us. When it’s not…”
I knew what he wasn’t saying. “No swearing in front of readers. You never know who it might offend. No politics.” Not that we ever talked about politics. In the current political climate, however, even making an offhand comment could end a career. “It was a good idea to do this just for the two of us, but I’m worried it was a lot of money.”
He shrugged. “Did you miss the part about me having a trust fund? I’m good.”
Dating a man with a trust fund felt so odd that I opted to gloss over that statement. “Anyway, what were we talking about?”
“How you’re no longer anti Man.”
“Oh, right.” I giggled and shook my head. “Before you, I always assumed something bad was going to happen in a relationship. That’s why I got out before people could get emotionally attached.”
“I have bad news for you. I’m already emotionally attached.”
It wasn’t bad news. I was happy to hear it. “I’m just saying I’m no longer anti Man.”
“See, I’m not sure if that bodes well for me if you want to be nicer to random men.”
I laughed again. “Fine. I’m still anti Man. I’m just pro you.”
His gaze was keen as it roamed my face, and I felt my cheeks heat. “I’m pro you too,” he whispered, leaning in for a kiss.
I sank into it. Everything about him filled me with emotions I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling.
