“I believe I’m going to become political. Did you know they have dueling political groups in the neighborhood?”
“No, I did not. How do you know that?”
“I looked it up last night.”
She smirked. “You have a plan.”
It wasn’t a question. She’d been working for me for two years, since she was fresh out of college and an intern at the publishing house. I’d liked her so much I’d offered her a job. She knew me well enough to know that I was indeed plotting.
“Frank is going to break down all the rules for me. Like … you can only have one yard enhancement—like a bird bath or arbor—and no lawn gnomes. I’m going to have a specialty birdbath made with huge gnomes on it. I don’t care how much it costs.”
She burst out laughing. “That is freaking hilarious.”
“Oh, I have plans.” I smiled. “Like … your exterior house color has to be approved, but Frank says there’s nothing in there about brick walkway colors.”
“Ooh, a yellow brick road?”
I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t hate that idea, because I think it will irritate people, but yellow is not my favorite color. I’m thinking pink.”
She pursed her lips.
“And purple,” I added. “Maybe I’ll throw in some turquoise too.”
“You do realize they’ll create new rules just for you, don’t you?”
“Ah.” I nodded. “Frank found a loophole in the contract, though. Even if they pass a new rule, I will be grandfathered in until I move.”
Paisley’s lips twitched. “Okay, that’s awesome.”
“Right?”
“What else are you going to do?”
“I haven’t decided yet. You can help me brainstorm when Frank comes up with the list.”
“Oh, that sounds fun.” Paisley’s gaze moved beyond my shoulder and she gestured with her chin. “Here she comes. Her name is Evangeline.”
My back was to the incoming sales associate. “Evangeline?”
Paisley shrugged. “It’s a Southern thing. Just wait until you run into your third Magnolia in one day.”
I was not looking forward to that. When I turned, I found myself facing a formidable woman. She wasn’t young and trim as I’d been expecting. No, she was in her sixties and wearing what could only be described as a muumuu. It had big circles that looked like nipples—but technically weren’t—right where her breasts were located.
“Huh,” I said.
“Yeah, she’s fun,” Paisley said. “You’re going to like her.”
Something told me she was right. “Hello.”
I beamed at Evangeline because I couldn’t help myself. She had a sour look on her face. I’d become accustomed to salespeople trying to wedge themselves so far up my butt that I couldn’t sit. It was different from when I was a kid and people looked through us. They’d pegged my mother as low income from the start. Now that I was making money—not Stephen King money or anything, but I was doing fairly well—people could see me. It was as if I exuded a musk. I didn’t know how to explain it.
“Your friend, here, says you don’t want sunshine blown up your vagina,” Evangeline said. “That’s why you asked for me, right?”
I nodded, fighting the urge to burst out laughing.
“You’re at the Landings?”
“I am.”
