“Move.”
“No, you don’t need to go out there and scream at no one.”
“You don’t get it, they can’t do that.”
“They shouldn’t do that, but you screaming isn’t going to help anything.”
He clenches his jaw, and another one goes off. This time he lets out a frustrated yell then goes to the couch, dropping down, burying his head in his hands. His leg is bouncing while he pulls at his hair.
I dare to step toward him, though I worry it’s a mistake, but when he lets me sit next to him on the couch, I get bolder. I place a tentative hand on his leg, rubbing softly and he still doesn’t move, but his leg stops bouncing.
Continuing the movements, I listen to his harsh breathing, but as minutes go by and no more fireworks occur, his body seems to slowly relax. His hand drops down to mine, gripping it tightly.
I stare at our hands while he almost crushes my bones, but I don’t care. The longer we sit here in silence, the more I hear his breathing even out. I watch the tension leave his body and as his eyes swing over to mine, I see the anguish there. The battle he fights alone and doesn’t let anyone see.
What I see is a reflection of what I feel within myself. Strong on the outside while the inside struggles to continue day to day. I see what we both refuse to admit. And the second his eyes drop down to my lips, just for a moment, I feel like I know exactly what he wants.
And it’s something I’ll give him because I’ll take the distraction with open arms. It’s something we both want. What we both need.
His mouth descends on mine and I’m willing to get lost in him, if only for this one night.
CHAPTER 24
Wes
I fucking hate fireworks.No matter what I do, they take me back to a time in my life where my life was constantly in danger. The loud noise brings me back to the moment we were attacked. Where everything around me was exploding. The shock, the panic, the helplessness. It threatens to consume me and all because some people like to see bright lights in the sky for a couple of seconds.
It’s easier when I know to expect them. For the Fourth of July and New Years I go rent a place in the middle of nowhere, equipped with my noise canceling headphones, music, and some of my favorite movies.
But when some shithead kids decide to set them off on a random day in October, there’s no way I could’ve prepared for that, and my fight or flight kicks in instantly. I hardly realize Bailey is outside talking to me, my focus solely on finding the source of the sound and destroying it.
I’m blind to everything else around me. Even her.
It isn’t until we’re inside, and I sit down that I realize she’s with me. I do everything I can to get my heart rate back to normal and my mind out of the dark place it goes.
When I feel the warm pressure of her hand on my leg, moving gently as she squeezes, I grab it with my own and it helps.
I don’t know why or how it helps, but it does.
I expect her to leave now that I’m not fully freaking out. She has no reason to stay.
What I don’t expect is when I manage to look over at her she’s not looking at me with pity or fear. She’s just looking at me.
And the craziest part is I feel like she’s actually seeingme.
My eyes drop down to her mouth, her lips slightly parted, enticing me to feel them again. I’ve wanted to every minute since we first kissed. I’ve wanted to even longer than that, but she’s so closed off that me being in control in other sexual situations with us felt easier.
But right now, I don’t care about any of that. Right now, I just want to feel her lips on mine. I want to lose myself in her, and to forget about the reasons why my head is so fucked beyond repair. I just want tofeel.
Without thinking anymore I dip my head down, capturing her lips with mine. She melts into me so easily, and I want more. Ineedmore. When she opens up for me, I know she’s willing to give it, and I’m going to savor every single thing she offers.
My fingers tangle in her hair as I push my tongue into her mouth, and she moans, grabbing a fistful of my shirt andpulling me closer. I go easily, but push even further, laying her down on the couch while hovering over her body without breaking our kiss.
When she parts her legs and I’m able to settle my hips between them. I groan as she lets out a soft gasp into my mouth at the feeling of my weight pressing her down.
I told her before we kissed for the first time I didn’t think I would be able to stop, but I somehow managed. This time there’s no stopping. This time, she’ll need to say the word if she wants this to stop because I’m so completely out of my mind there’s no way I’m letting up.
In this moment, I’m a man possessed, desperate for the little bit of a distraction the woman underneath me is willing to give.
