Bailey: I’m fine.
Brent: Fine enough to come visit sometime? Chandler wants to meet you. Brynn misses you.
I sigh. I know my sister misses me, and I would like to meet the woman my brother is with. The woman who is strong enough to be with three men—three hockey players at that.
But just the thought of facing two of my siblings has panic surging in my chest. What if the moment we all see each other the thoughts from the past consume me and I can’t pull myself out?
What if it’s the same for them, and we all regress when we’ve all finally managed to build our lives up to be how they are? It wouldn’t be fair to them.
Yet, I can’t bring myself to say no, just like always, because I don’t want to explain why.
Bailey: Maybe one of these days.
I’m sure he knows the true meaning behind my words, but instead of calling me out on it his reply is simple.
Brent: I hope so.
I’m tossing and turning,which isn’t totally unusual for me, though this time it isn’t because I’m struggling with memories from the past. I’m not thinking about my siblings or the hell we went through. I truly have no real explanation for my restlessness except the fact that I know Wes is home.
It’s insane. I’ve lived here for years. Lived next to the sameannoying man the entire time, and he’s never been the reason I’ve struggled to fall asleep. But right now, the only thing I can think of is if I asked him to come over, or showed up at his door. The things he could do to make my body sing over and over. And I’m sure it would lead me to a completely peaceful sleep.
But that’s not going to happen.
I continue to toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position when I start to rationalize going over there and how it wouldn’t be giving in.Really it would be empowering because I would be the one in control of our interaction. It wouldn’t be a moment of weakness, but really a moment of strength.
Yeah, that’s it, I can do it.
I toss my legs over the side of my bed, when I hear a loud noise. One I recognize well as the sound of his car starting up. I go to the window facing the front of the house and watch his black car drive off.
Guess that takes the choice away. He probably got a better offer since I’m convinced that’s where he races off to in the middle of the night.
I flop back onto my bed, burying my face in my pillow, I just hope that knowing he’s no longer close by will help me fall asleep.
Still I struggle. It’s not until the sun starts to peek through that my eyes finally grow heavy enough to pull me under. And, of course, just before sleep takes me, I realize I never heard Wes come back.
CHAPTER 17
Wes
Workingon Jameson’s family ranch has me seriously considering getting my own. Maybe not this big, but a small one. It’s a good way to fill my time and the work distracts my mind. Bruno seems to like it too, other than the horses which he’s still unsure about.
If I had a place like this I might be able to keep him. Maybe he would have enough freedom to be happy since I can’t give him enough of myself as it is. Just like with everyone else.
I swing another hay bale around to the spot in the hay loft, making it easier to grab the flakes and feed the horses. As I drop some food down to the animals below, I hear the sound of footsteps entering the barn. I look down to see Emily petting Bruno, so I climb down to see her.
“Good morning, Wes,” she greets, cheerfully.
“Good morning, Mrs. Turner.” I wipe my hands on my jeans, though the ache from where the baling twine dug into my skin is still there.
“All of you like to be so respectful.” She waves her hand around like it’s ridiculous. “I hope these ladies aren’t giving you too much trouble.”
I huff out a small laugh. “They’ve been on their best behavior.”
There’s only one lady in my life giving me any sort of trouble, but I like it.
“Good. The dogs are currently running my house, but if Bruno wants to come visit he’s more than welcome.”
I shake my head. “No, that’s okay. I don’t want to add more onto your plate. Your hands are clearly already full.”
