I don’t want to think about how close I was to ending it. To never seeing her again, to never feeling this feeling. I cover her body with mine once more, kissing her roughly to drown out the what ifs. I want to be here—with her. I want to get better.
My tongue invades her mouth, licking and tasting her to remind myself how real this is. To taste the words she just said, and swallow them until they’re ingrained in my very soul.
I run my hands along her body, feeling that she’s really here with me, her smooth skin under my rough hands. I reach her thigh, hiking it up over my hip so I can angle my cock at her entrance, teasing her just barely.
“Wes,” she whispers, and I have to stop myself from jutting forward to bury myself in her at just the sound of my name on her lips. “Tell me again.”
“I love you,” I tell her effortlessly, as I thrust forward and she moans at the sudden intrusion. My vision blurs at how tightly she squeezes me and I don’t know if I’ll ever see straight again. But it doesn’t matter. I have her and that’s all that does.
I don’t let her say anything back, instead, pulling back and pushing forward again roughly because I don’t need her to say anything else, I just want to make her feel good. I want her to know how important she is to me for as long as she’ll let me.
It doesn’t take long before she’s clenched around me, and I know she’s close. “Come for me, Angel.”
She moans my name, digging her nails into my back while she detonates and it causes my own release to barrel through me. Neither of us move while our chests heave together with rough breathing. Our kisses slow but don’t stop as our mouths move against each other. Even when I soften inside her, I don’t want to move.
Rolling off her body, I pull her against me because I don’t want to be more than a couple of inches from her at all times. I need her more than I need anything else. She saved me in more ways than one.
I hold her and she doesn’t move away. Her fingers start tracing my skin and it lulls me into an unfamiliar calmness, until I end up drifting off to sleep.
We spendmost of the day in bed, wrapped around each other, sometimes talking and sometimes we let our bodies do the talking. Bruno makes it known he needs attention, which is what causes us to get up. I’m reluctant to let Bailey leave, but she said she would be right back with Sadie. I don’t think I’ve ever been so attached to another person, but I let her go, trusting she’ll be back in just a few short minutes.
When she walks back through the door, both dogs are excited to see each other, and we let them out in the backyard. I pull her down on my lap as I sit on one of the chairs I have out here, keeping my arms wrapped around her as we watch our dogs.
“I heard Bruno is staying,” she says with a small quirk of her lips.
“Yeah? How’d you learn that?”
“I went to the shelter to ask if you had been there and Gloria told me. I knew you were going to keep him. We all did, clearly.”
I sigh. “Yeah, I really wanted him to have a better life than I could give him.”
“Why do you think that? That dog is attached to you, and I think he’s exactly what you need.”
I hold her tighter. “Yeah, you both are.”
“The three of us.” She nods toward Sadie and I chuckle.
“Yes, all three of you.”
We continue to sit in a comfortable silence while the dogsplay. Everything isn’t better by any means, but I feel like maybe it can get there. Which leads me to something I’ve avoided for years. I know if I want to be worthy of the woman in my lap, the woman who says she loves me, I need to do something for myself. The very thing I’ve avoided because I didn’t think I needed it, but the truth is I do.
I just needed to reach rock bottom before I could fully admit it.
“I’m going to start therapy,” I mumble against Bailey’s shoulder. She stiffens for a second and I regret telling her until she turns her head to look me in the eyes.
“I’ll be here for you every step of the way.”
I can see how much she means it, and it helps me relax because I know it’s going to be hard. I know I’m not always going to be easy to love or the best partner, but I’ll do everything I can to be the best for her.
“I’m going to as well,” she admits, and I kiss her shoulder.
“Want to come with me for horse therapy sometimes? Theyarethe best listeners,” I tell her, remembering what Emily has said about the horses before. Realizing maybe she’s right and Bailey would like it too.
“I’ll try it, but you’re not getting me on one,” she says seriously and I chuckle, even though I have yet to get on one as well.
“Maybe that’s something we can try together.”
“I’ll try anything as long as it’s with you.”
